~ December ~

Raw 21 December

Yeah, we're all friends, we're all brothers and to be quite honest,
we're sick and tired of fighting each other.
- Edge to Steph & HHH right before they made a match
between Edge & Matt Hardy v Christian & Jeff Hardy -

They're intoxicated with their own power.
- JR on McMahon-Helmsley Era -

Well, JR. What rhymes with 'clap' but starts with an 'S'?
- Michael Hayes to JR referring to when Stephanie slapped him last week -

I think the McMahon-Helmsley Era kind of sucks.
- Mankind -

Well, I know Santa walks around saying "Ho Ho Ho"
but I'm not exactly sure you're the type of 'Ho' he had in mind.
- Mankind to Stephanie -

I'd know that nose anywhere. It's Triple H.
- JR -

That ain't Tupperware.
- JR on Mankind hitting a bunch of wrestlers dressed as Santa with a saucepan -

Wait...did I just get my ass kicked by the Mean Street Posse? That's embarrassing.
- Mankind after he got kicked into the boiler room -

The only Olympic gold medallist to ever grace a WWF ring
and the most celebrated real athlete in WWF history - Kurt Angle.
- Lilian announcing Kurt Angle to the ring -

As all of you know, I've had success my whole entire life and I continue to have success, here in the WWF. And why? Because I follow my simple set of rules that I call 'The 3 I's'. Yes, that's right. Intensity, integrity and intelligence. And if you follow my 3 I's and make it part of your New Year's resolution, you too can accomplish anything you want to and you too can have the happiest New Year you could ever imagine possible.
- Kurt Angle to the fans -

Kurt cute.
- Stephanie -

Angle's celebrating like he'd just won another Olympic gold medal.
- JR after Blackman helped Kurt win a match so he'd stay undefeated -

If you ever drop water on me again though, you'll get the Acolytes every night for a year.
- HHH to the Mean Street Posse -

Armageddon 12 December

If you don't stand for something
You will fall for anything.
- The beginning of Armageddon -

King: Where exactly is D-D-Dudleyville?
JR: You'll have to Rand McNally that. I don't know quite where Dudleyville may be.

JR: They look like former models from The Gap with those stupid sweater vests on.
King: Stupid? Did you see what the Headbangers are wearing?
JR: Thats just absurd.
- On the Mean Street Posse -

Speaking on nonsense. Now, these guys are cool.
- King on Too Cool entering the 16 man Tag Team match -

Mosh has pulled the stuffing out of his bra.
Reminds me of my first girlfriend.
- King -

JR: Grandmaster just got his britches pulled down around his ankles.
King: What?
JR: He's trying to get 'em back up.
King: That ain't cool.
- Grandmaster was wearing dark green briefs *heehee* -

That'll ground Air Hardy in a hurry.
- JR on a big boot to Matt Hardy's face by Bradshaw -

JR: The fans here are really trying to get into Angle's head by chanting 'boring'.
King: They're not chanting 'boring'.
JR: They were, that's what I heard. What? Were they chanting 'Doreen'?
King: She's here tonight, you know.

Maybe Moolah ought to try going without a bra...
it might pull some of the wrinkles out of her face.
- King -

They're gonna get it on...in a swimming pool.
- King on the Evening Gown Swimming pool match between Ivory, Kitty, Jacqueline and B.B. -

King: Poor Ivory. Thats the second time she's been in there (the pool).
JR: Poor Ivory? That motor mouth.

She'll never drown. She's got built in life preservers.
- King on B.B. in the Evening Gown match in the pool -

B.B. is kind of bouyant.
- JR -

King: Man, I can unhook those things in one second.
JR: I think that thing has got two or three safety latches on it just to balance everything.
King: I love Ivory. She's my hero.
- On Ivory trying to undo B.B.'s bra -

Miss Kitty: Well, I told everyone I was gonna win this and I did. But I know that you came here to see me get naked.
King: Yo, Adrian!
Miss Kitty: I'm not going to disappoint you. And I want you to know, they made me wear underwear.
King: What? Who did?
JR: Who are they?
King: That's what I wanna know. Damn office!

I saw real live puppies with their cute little pink noses. Ohhhhhh!
- King on Kitty stripping off her white strapless bra to reveal her puppies -

Viscera is a couple of biscuits away from 500 pounds.
- JR -

Phatu (Rikishi) makes a sumo wrestler look anorexic.
- King -

Crash is not 300 pounds, he thinks he is.
- JR -

JR: Kane - almost seven feet tall, just a little over 300 pounds. Huge size and strength advantage over X-Pac.
King: Well, not everywhere - huge size and strength.
JR: Will you get away from all these penis innuendo's.
King: What? JR, you said 'penis'. Good grief.

King: Well, I heard Tori made a few disparaging remarks about Kane the first time she ever saw him un-clothed.
JR: You're a plethora of sexual information, aren't you?
King: Yeah. You know what she said the first time she saw him with no clothes on?
JR: What King? What did she say?
King: She said "Well, I guess this makes me the early bird." *hahaha*. That's what X-Pac told me.
JR: Early bird gets the...I got it!

Come on baby!
- Chris Jericho during his match against Chyna -

Jericho drop kicking Chyna's thumb.
I've never said that before.
- JR -

Chris Jericho has finally climbed Mount Chyna.
- JR when Jericho defeated Chyna for the Intercontinental title -

King: How many times have Too Cool won the Tag Team titles?
JR: Too Cool?
King: Four?
JR: I don't think so. That's four more than I would have guessed.

He's a few peas short of a casserole.
- King about Mankind -

Big Freak Show.
- Big Boss Man -

~ October ~

No Mercy 18 October

Viscera needs to be wearing a licence plate. That is a wide load.
- King -

King: I can’t believe that the ho’s are standing so close to Viscera over there.
JR: I don’t know if they have any choice or not.
King: They may not be able to escape his gravitational pull. That guy is huge.

Vince McMahon, the man with the balls the size of grapefruits,
stood in the ring before me and said
“I’m so sorry, Triple H. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
What a maroon. He’s the biggest idiot…he’s not the biggest idiot.
You know who the biggest idiot is? Austin.
- Triple H -

Ivory told Moolah to wrestle women her own age, but there aren’t any.
- King -

She does know how to take out the trash.
- King on Chyna hitting Jeff on the head with a trash can -

He’s been crowned with a seat from the throne.
- King on Chyna putting a toilet seat over Jeff Jarrett’s head -

Edge is throwing those ladders around...like…well, like ladders.
- King -

I wish Mankind would grab Finkel by the ankles and hit somebody with him.
- King -

~ August ~

Raw 17 August

Frankly, you ain’t got the balls to beat me.
- Chyna to Triple H -

Where is the stage? I must entertain.
- Chris Jericho upon arrival at the arena -

I really don’t like dogs, just puppies.
- King -

Puppies I like have two legs.
- King -

Fix my hair? I’ll have you know this is the most popular hairstyle in Europe right now.
Enough of this yakking, where’s the stage? My people are waiting.
- Chris Jericho -

And this is exactly what I was talking about last week. You two giant slugs have been out here for what; 3 - 4 minutes and already you have forced these poor people to drift off into their own little worlds, completely oblivious to what you’re saying and completely oblivious to you. I mean, you two morons couldn’t string together two intelligent words and I was forced to come out here and save this segment. Personification of evil, huh. I say personification of boredom. The only thing scary about you two is the amount of TV time you get which causes the people to pick up the remote and change the channel, looking for a hero. Well, stop changing the channel because you’re hero has arrived. Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF. Finally there’s a man who’s entertaining enough and exciting enough to bring this company back to prominence and make some money for this beleaguered promotion. And I’m here to say that ‘Raw is Snore’ is now dead and buried and long live ‘Raw is Jericho’.