~ December ~

If anybody knows about ugly, it's you Michael Cole.
- King -

I couldn't warm up to you if we were cremated together.
- King comes up with a few good jokes during the 'Best of WWF 2001' -

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
The weather was warm, not a trace of snow
As The Rock got ready to whoop Chris Jericho
Jericho's claim to be the best The Rock has found quite brutal
Clearly, Chris Jericho is a man who has no strudel
"I am a living legend", Y2J would sing
As he trembled with fear, heading into the People's Ring
And faster, faster than Scrooge saw the ghost of Christmas past
The Rock hit the People's Ring and whooped Y2J's ass
It seemed quite certain the title would switch
As The Rock made Chris Jericho his own punkass bitch
And after The Rock pinned Chris Jericho 1-2-3
Stood over his limp body in victory
The Rock grabbed the mic and told everyone in sight
Merry Christmas to all...
- The Rock's Night Before Christmas -

Michael Cole: And those steel steps, if you catch yourself on the edge will cut your head open.
Jerry Lawler: Well, of course. That's what Austin's got in mind.
- on Stone Cold Steve Austin trying to bust open Booker T in the first blood match -

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Please let them finish calling you an asshole.
- The Rock referring to the crowd calling Kurt Angle an asshole -

You need a hip replacement, but you’re not hip.
- King to JR -

That'd be the worst Christmas present you could ever receive.
- Jerry 'The King' on Rikishi giving Test a stinkface -

On a night Test faced The Great One this is what he'll see:
12 sharp shooters stinging
11 eyebrows raising
10 spines a busting
9 noggins knocking
8 kicks a kicking
7 punches punching
6 suplex smashing
5 seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name
4 rock bottoms
3 people's elbows on your
2 buck teeth
and an ass kicking all over New Orleans.
- The Rock's song called '12 Things That Test Can Look Forward To Tonight' -

I hate that word.
- Mr. McMahon on the word we all love, 'WHAT' -

You want me to come out here and apologize to Booker T
What?
You want me to say I'm sorry
What?
You want me to say I wish I never would of done that
What?
Booker T stole my truck
What?
Booker T cost Stone Cold Steve Austin the Undisputed title
What?
And you want me to apologise
What?
Yo, the way I look at it Vince, hell I was nice enough to take that man on a shopping spree
What?
That's right. I bought him ketchup
What?
Beer
What?
Grey poupon
What?
Flour
What?
Pizza pie
What?
More beer
What?
And you want me to say I'm sorry
What?
I did that man a favour
What?
I did that man a favour
What?
I said, I did that man a favour
What?
- Stone Cold Steve Austin telling Mr. McMahon that he is not apologizing to Booker T -

Price check on a jackass.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin as he was leaving the Green Frog supermarket after beating up Booker T with grocery items -

This kid needs ego-therapy.
- J.R. on the first Undisputed Champion, Chris Jericho having a big ego -

That ass has got more dimples on it than a golf ball.
- Jerry Lawler on Jim Ross' ass -

King: I'm having trouble making eye contact with Trish.
JR: Why?
King: Because breasts don't have eyes.

I think we need to add a few more polygons to Stephanie.
- Chris Jericho on the TV ad promoting Smackdown! 'Just Bring It' for Playstation 2 -

Admit it, JR. The last time you touched a breast was in a KFC box.
- King -

Vince, if you come back up this ramp, Stone Cold Steve Austin
will be waiting right here to deal out some of these knuckle sandwiches.
- Stone Cold wants Vince to kiss ass -

If I got to kiss Trish like that, I'd have to have my smile surgically removed.
- King about when Rock kissed Trish -

Hey, these are my kind of people.
- King on the crowd wanting puppies -

Let the puppies out to play.
- King -

Well, I hate to see Trish go but I love to watch her leave.
- King -

JR: Where in god's name is RVD going?
King: The cheap seats.
- On RVD going up one level to the seats above the exit to jump down on Undertaker -

The reason why The Rock wanted you to walk to the middle of the ring with your pants down is because its much easier for The Rock to take an object, turn it sideways and stick it up your candy ass. Does anyone know where The Rock can find an ear of corn to stick up Vince’s ass? Whoa whoa. The Rock’s not going to violate you with an ear of corn, you sick freak.
- The Rock to Vince McMahon -

What I love was taken away from me. This business; what I love doing; getting in that ring was taken away from me before I was ready for it to be taken away. Coming up the ramp, my first thought was how fast can I be back? This injury taught me that if you have the desire to do it, you can come back from just about anything. How bad do you want it? What sacrifices are you willing to make? Seven months with nothing to do but rehab and train...live like a hermit. Every second of it was worth it if I get back in the ring and get back to doing what I love to do.
- Triple H WWF Desire "Beautiful Day" by U2 -

Cole: Lita is Matt's girlfriend.
She's like a sister to Matt's brother, Jeff Hardy.
She's been dragged into the middle of this sibling rivalry between Matt and Jeff.
And my question is, where does Lita stand on all this?
King: I know what you're saying Michael, but what I'm saying is where is she?
Cole: Noone knows.
King: I-wanna-see-her-I-wanna-look-at-her-puppies. Where's Lita?

Matt: So, you're not taking sides, huh?
Lita: No.
Matt: Then why don't you prove it to me.
How about you be the referee at the match at Vengeance and we'll see who's side you're on.
Lita: Fine!

Matt: I guess you're saying that Lita, my Lita,
the special referee for the match is gonna be seeing things your way.
Is that what you're thinking?
Jeff: Matt, if she was seeing things your way, then where is she tonight?

Lita: I didn't do it on purpose, Matt. I didn't see your foot. I didn't even want to be the referee, Matt.
You put me in that position. And now you've gotten us a handicap match. What, I don't want to fight you Matt.
Matt, I love you.
Matt: Oh, you love me, huh?
Lita: Yes.
Matt: I guess you're just trying to say that to make me feel guilty for not talking to you. Is that right?
If you didn't want to be the referee, why didn't you just say so. You didn't say anything.
You know why I asked for this handicap match tonight? Consider you and Jeff coming up with a little plan and beating me behind my back, why don't you two beat me face to face. Just like the Hardy Boyz, Lita, me and you, we're breaking up.
Jeff (comes up and see's Lita is crying): Lita. Lita, what's wrong. What happened?
Lita (visibly upset): I went in there to talk to Matt. I wanted to tell him I'm sorry.
I told him I loved him and he said that we're breaking up, Jeff.
Jeff: You shouldn't of went in there.

She's been kicked to the curb, she's been dumped.
- King on Matt dumping Lita -

JR: She needs comforting.
King: She does?
- J.R. and King on Lita looking upset at watching Jeff and Matt wrestle -

King: Look at Lita. She got dumped on National television.
JR: Boy, that's embarassing.

She should act like a sis.
He dumped her so go out with the other brother.
- King about Lita and Matt breaking up so now she should go out with Jeff -

King: Did Lita say that she loved Matt?
JR: Yes.
King: You think she meant it? Do you believe it?
JR: Well, yeah.
King: Here's an opportunity for her to show her love for Matt.
Go over there and grab that stringy blue hair Lita and pull Jeff off of Matt.
JR: King, I think Lita cares strongly for Jeff, like the brother she didn't have.
King: Oh, okay. Know what I think? She got dumped and now she's available. She's on the market again.

King: Is that a tear I see going down her cheek?
JR: I don't doubt it a bit.

Matt, this is starting to get embarassing.
You are getting beat up by your little brother.
- King -

I knew she was a jezebel.
It's official, she's a woman alright.
- King on Lita doing a 'Litacurana' on Matt -

King: Awwww, poor baby.
JR: Lita's absolutely heartbroken.
King: Now, what's she heartbroken about, JR?
Cause she lost the match or cause she lost her man, or both?
JR: I think it's cause she lost the love of her life.

He took one chance too many.
That's what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket.
- King on Jeff Hardy being a daredevil and getting impaled by the security wall -

King: Now, what do you think is going through Matt's mind seeing his former girlfriend out there with his brother.
Boy, Im telling you, a love triangle is a vicious circle, JR.
JR: I don't think there is any romance between Lita and Jeff Hardy, King.
King: What?
JR: No, I don't think so at all.
King: You got to be kidding me.
JR: Well, everybody doesn't have a dirty mind like you.
King: Lets face it, Matt has kicked Lita to the curb and the old saying is 'One man's trash is another man's girlfriend'.

This is gonna be on your conscience.
- Undertaker to Lita as he was about to throw Jeff off the stage -

Test: I know you want me.
Lita: Please, Test. You think I want you. Oh what...
Test: What's the big deal, please. Oh what, you're gonna hit me now. C'mon baby.
Hit me, I love it rough. Yeah, c'mon right here. I'm waiting. C'mon.....
Jeff: Lita's not gonna hit you. But I will.
Test: Uh Oh, easy Lance Romance. Don't get all hot cause I'm hitting on your girlfriend.
Jeff: She's not my girlfriend man, alright she's a friend.
Test: Please.
Jeff: Hey, you like intimidating women so bad, why don't you try intimidating me....in the ring.
Test: All right, tough guy. Why don't you bring your little girlfriend with you too.
Lita: He just never quits.

Let me tell you something,
anytime a woman wraps her legs around a man's head,
she's teasing him.
- King on Lita doing a 'Litacurana' on Test to save Jeff -

Look at Lita! She's got the puppies in a net.
Or maybe when they're in a fish net they're guppies.
- King -

Faarooq: By the way, is she (Lita) a natural redhead?
Bradshaw: Man, would you quit. That is highly unappropriate.
Do you know how unappropriate that is? That is awful.
Besides, if you want to know if she's a natural redhead, just ask his brother Jeff.
Matt: Look, if you don't want to play cards, maybe you want to fight. Huh?
Faarooq: I wonder what made him so mad?
Bradshaw: Maybe she's not a natural redhead.
Faarooq: Damn.

~ November ~

Me losing my job, it's a good thing.
Because then all of you won't have to listen to my annoying voice
or have to look at my big, bright, bogus, fake, white teeth.
- Big Show pretending to be Diamond Dallas Page -

~ October ~

Respect is earned, not awarded.
- J.R. on Christian saying he's not getting any respect -

And as far as being part of the most popular group in WWF history,
well, hanging out with really cool people does not make you a really cool person.
Oh and by the way, 1998 called and they're sick and tired of you,
so feel free to join us in the year 2001 anytime.
- Edge to X-Pac -

Ah, Christian. My dear, sweet little brother, Christian.
You wonder why all these people hate you.
Well, why don't we ask them. Now, don't be shy people.
Do you hate Christian because he is extremely annoying?
YES
Do you hate him because he totally sucks?
YES
Or do you hate him because simply he is a jealous, bitter,
paranoid coward, who after years of therapy still wets his bed.
- Edge on why everyone seems to hate Christian -

So, follow DDP's example and get your lazy butts off the couch and do some yoga.
And you'll see that just like me, DDP, that I like me, you'll like me and I am gonna make you like you.
- DDP -

No Mercy 22 October

JR: The knockdown by Torrie Wilson, wrestling barefooted here tonight. I noticed her feet. How sick am I?
Heyman: Very.

~ September ~

Kurt Angle, you will not treat me like an animal, no you will not. What?
- Stone Cold -

You're a bunch of jackasses. That's what you are.
- Stone Cold to the crowd -

Are you the Rattlesnake or the waaaaaaatlesnake?
- Kurt Angle to Stone Cold -

There's nothing embarrassing about relieving yourself in
your tights after tapping out to the horrible pain.
- Kurt Angle -

Not only do I have a strudel but I got the whole damn bakery down there.
- Shane McMahon -

We'll see if you have a strudel or a twinkie. Let's go.
- Kurt to Shane O'Mac -

How would you know anything about being a superhero in the bedroom?
- JR to Paul Heyman -

JR: You're a riot.
Heyman: I crack myself up sometimes.
JR: You are a crackup, there's no doubt about that.

He's a pain in the Heyman.
- JR on Christian -

Christian: Do you have any idea what it's like to have everyone hate you?
JR: Paul, you can relate to that.

Lilian: Rock, we heard the news earlier today. You're gonna be defending at Unforgiven, your WCW title against Shane McMahon and Booker T. How do you feel about that?
The Rock: Who are you just Barbara Walters all of a sudden, Lilian? Since when did you become all business, Lilian? How about a simple 'Hey Rock'. 'How you doin Rock?'. 'Did you enjoy lunch today Rock?'. 'Did you like your pancakes Rock?'. How about something like that.
Lilian: But Rock, like I said, at Unforgiven. You're gonna....
The Rock: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Lilian. Lilian. You need to let your feelings go. The Rock knows you have feelings for him. The Rock knows that you think about The Rock. The Rock knows that you get that funny feeling in the bottom of your stomach, Lilian. The Rock knows that each and every single time you go right out there in the middle of The People's ring and you ring announce, you think about The Rock looking at you. Admit it Lilian, that you go to bed every single night dreaming about marrying The Rock. Dreaming of one day to become Mrs. Lilian 'Rockcia'. Admit it Lilian, you get wet....with perspiration standing this close to The Rock.....Now, Lilian, The Rock knows how you feel about pie. But how do you feel about strudel? Lilian, would you like to try some of The Rock's strudel?
Lilian: More than anything in the world, Rock.
The Rock: What in the blue hell is wrong with you? The Rock was just informed that he had a match at Unforgiven. A handicap match between The Rock, Booker T and Shane McMahon and the only thing you can think about and talk about is dessert. A little professionalism Lilian Garcia, please. (Lilian begins to speak) Shh. Shh. Shhhhhh........
Now, Lilian Garcia. Back to your question. How does The Rock feel about Unforgiven? Well, The Rock feels about Unforgiven, just as he feels about tonight's eight man Tag Match, right here in T.O. The Rock feels about 'em just as he feels about everything else and that is simply electrifying. If you smell what The Rock......Lilian, stop thinking about The People's strudel......is cooking.

Actually, I know what all these people are thinking.
They're thinking 'Junior, would you please shut the hell up'.
But as far as your ring entrance goes, well, I guess that is pretty cool.
It's just like a real life opera.
And what a great opera song you have.
I love the lyrics. *Christian*. *Christian*.
'The Jackass of the Year'.
But noone is gonna remember your entrance tonight.
But they will remember you exit, *Christian*.
When you leave the ring after receiving a true blue, bonafide Y2J
beating that you will never *ever* forget again.
- Chris Jericho to Christian -

The Rock: Lets talk about something everybody enjoys. Lets you and The Rock talk about pie.
Jim Ross: Everyone likes pie.
The Rock: So, Shawn Stasiak, do you ah, you like the pie?
Shawn: Absolutely not. I hate pie.
Jim Ross: How can you hate pie? He must be a cake man.
The Rock: Well, everyone knows The Rock likes pie. Houston, Texas loves that pie.
And you say you don't like pie. So dare The Rock say it, you don't like that ah, strudel, do you?
Jim Ross: He doesn't like pastry of any kind, that Stasiak.

Possibly, his only weak point is he allows himself to be manipulated by such a
filthy, dirty, disgusting, well you know what I'm gonna say next.
- Chris Jericho on Rob Van Dam being manipulated by Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley -

The people enjoy chanting RVD.
But alot of people enjoy chanting Y2J.
- Chris Jericho -

The Hardcore title is up for grabs and coincidentally,
Stephanie McMahon enjoys being grabbed. So it all fits together.
- Chris Jericho -

Here's a weird relationship.
RVD - The King of Hardcore and
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley - The Queen of Hardcore.
Unfortunately, movies don't count.
- Chris Jericho making fun of Stephanie once again -

Now Stephanie, The Rock realises that you have probably been on top of alot of guys.
And it doesn't bother you.
- The Rock -

Chris Jericho: Your birthday, huh. How old you gonna be? 37, 38 years old.
Stephanie: No. I'm gonna be 25.
Chris Jericho: No, no. I asked how old you were, not how many men you've been with in the last week.

(To the tune of Happy Birthday)
Happy Birthday to Steph
You're a ho with big breasts
So take the night off from hooking
If you smell what The Rock's cooking.
- The Rock -

Michael Cole: Where did Shane, Booker T and Test come from?
Paul Heyman: From the locker room, where did you think they came from?

I said it once and I'll say it again, spinarooni my ass.
- Jim Ross isn't impressed by Booker T's 'spinarooni' -

You don't matter to me. Put those fingers down.
- Stone Cold to the crowd -

Hold on a second.
Did the spinarooni all of a sudden
become an Olympic sport? No!
- Kurt to Booker T -

I’ll say it slow so you can hear me, genius.
- Tazz to Cole -

Underdog? Underdog, you say?
I know underdog and Spike Dudley’s no underdog.
I mean, the underdog isn’t even real.
- Hurricane after Lilian quoted Spike as being an underdog -

Quick, to the hurricave.
- The Hurricane -

You’re the biggest damn cry baby in the World Wrestling Federation.
I ain’t never seen nobody like you.
You cry everytime you do something good.
- Stone Cold tells it like it is to Kurt -

Its always been Edge and Christian. E and C. Edge and his brother.
Well, why do you always get to go first Edge, huh?
What makes you so damn special? What have you ever done?
Well, I’m special. Me. I know I’m special.
- Christian has a whinge about always been second -

You think you're pretty tough?
- Stone Cold to Kurt -

The Olympic zero.
- Tazz's name for Kurt Angle -

A woman like me has needs.
You see, a woman like me needs to be motivated.
I need to be stimulated.
And I'm gonna help you with your needs.
I would like a job with your administration.
- Torrie Wilson asks Regal for a job -

I've been trying to keep this a secret for a long time but there is just no holding it back now.
You see, a man with an accent just drives me insane.
Tajiri, you're the man of my dreams.
- Torrie Wilson -

You have nothing that I need but
you do have something that I want.
- Christian -

Just like our song, I think I know you.
But as last night proved, you so don't know me.
- Christian the day after he took a steel chair to Edge's head and turned on him -

Stone Cold: Debra. Call the paramedics.
Debra: You think he's gonna be alright?
Stone Cold: I don't give a damn about that man. I think I burnt my mouth.
- Stone Cold after he took a sip of HOT coffee and then tipped it over Shawn Stasiak -

Ungrateful, miserable, bloody toad.
- Regal about Shane McMahon -

Ivory: Are you into tops or bottoms?
Regal: Oh you filthy, disgusting scrubber. Why don't you cover that up.
You'll get a bloody draught in there and get pneumonia.
- Regal after noticing that he can see the top of Ivory's butt -

~ August ~

Raw 14 August

What a lame name – Justin Credible.
I can think of a better name than that…
Justin Stupidhead. I still got it!
- Chris Jericho to The Rock -

Nobody spills my milk.
- Kurt Angle to the Hurricane -

Look at you with that stupid orange shirt on.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin to Tazz -

Chris Jericho: It seems like our billionaire princess sure has grown over the last year. Well, in two specific places at least. Talk about foreign objects. You wanna say ‘let the bodies hit the floor’, I would say ‘let the boobies hit the floor’.
Stephanie: I don’t know what you’re talking about Jericho. You must have some kind of imagination.
Chris Jericho: Well, maybe…maybe I do. Maybe you should allow me to take you out to dinner and we can discuss this. I hear there’s a Hooters just down the road from this place.

At Summerslam I’m gonna take care of that smelly, greasy, nasty animal…
and I’m gonna get you too, Rhyno.
- Chris Jericho to Stephanie McMahon -

Thank you Stephanie. You’re the breast…I mean best.
- Chris Jericho gets a little tongue tied -

Well, The Rock could just imagine what you were like in high school.
The oldest 27 year old Senior the world has ever seen.
Standing out in front of your house with your mama.
And that short, little, yellow bus pulling up in front.
Meep meep….meep meep….meep meep.
You just walk in off the bus going to class, getting inside the classroom,
teacher up on the blackboard “Okay, class. What is 2 + 2? Do you know Booker? “
”Oh yeah, I know the answer to that. 2 + 2…Thomas Jefferson, sucka.”
- The Rock to Booker T -

The Rock: But The Rock guesses that old saying is true. Booker T, hair done by Whoopie. Shane McMahon still a pussy.
Chris Jericho: Wait a second. Wait a second, Rock. That was a good one. But you’re forgetting one half of the family. I mean, look what’s standing in the ring right now. You’ve got a man beast and a ho’s beast. I mean, we’re dealing with the gore and the whore.
- Rock & Jericho make fun of Booker T, Shane, Rhyno and Stephanie -

You see, The Rock and Chris Jericho, we’re gonna take you on a little geography lesson.
Yeah, we’re gonna go to France, we’re gonna go to China, we’re gonna go to Russia.
But don’t worry, if we get into trouble we could use
Stephanie McMahon’s breasts as a flotation device but…
it doesn’t matter where we go. Around the world once, some places twice.
The fact remains we will wind up right back here
whooping your candy asses all over Chicago.
- The Rock to Steph, Rhyno and Booker T -

~ July ~

Mr. McMahon, you’re in a freakin’ mop closet.
What the heck are you doing in a mop closet?
Oh, Torrie, have you seen my gold medals?
- Kurt finds Vince and Torrie in a mop closet. LOL -

Raw 24 July

Trish: What’s going on here?
Jeff: Hey, she’s got a paddle!
- Trish in response to Torrie Wilson flirting with Jeff -

Invasion 23 July

You know what the 'E' stands for? It stands for Ewww gross! I mean, just look at this guy. The bovine, chunky, chubby, porntly, ponchy, plump, rotund, stout, jelly belly. I mean, man...look at his hair. He looks like a mutant with all that hair falling off. He looks like a big, white Shrek.
- Chris Jericho about Paul E Heyman -

How do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder?
- JR during the RVD v Jeff Hardy match -

~ June ~

No, Albert. Don’t hit the mat, hit Kane.
- Tazz -

I don’t think the referee knew what hit him.
- King -

Like the diamond cutter, you never saw it coming.
- DDP -

Make me famous.
- DDP to Undertaker -

King: That just goes to show you that friendship goes out the window when it comes to competition.
JR: And money.

2001 King of the Ring.
I really like the sound of that.
That reeks of royalty.
- Edge after winning the 2001 KOR -

Wow, Billy. You sound like a human vacuum cleaner,
managing to both suck and blow at the same time.
- Edge to Billy Gunn -

1999 is so two years ago and its not my fault if you’ve done a big pile of nothing since then.
That doesn’t give you the right to come out and reign on my parade.
- Edge to Billy -

I plan on being entertaining.
- Edge on being King -

I hereby decree that the first act in the era of awesomeness
will be to totally iniolate Billy Bitchcakes.
- Edge -

It sounds like MSG is jam packed full of Jerichoholics tonight. Well, even though the WWF title is still just barely around the oh-so-huggable waist of Stone Cold Steve Assclown, Y2J’s quest to become the WWF Champion has not, nor will ever, eeeeever be over. And since I’ve got so much pent up aggression towards old Stevearino, tonight Tajunior, I’m gonna have to take it all out on you.
- Chris Jericho -

~ May ~

Smackdown 27 May

Trish: Wow, that’s gigantic.
Blackman: Yeah, well you should see when I beat people over the head with it.
Trish: Can I hold it?
Blackman: I don’t see why not.
Trish: Its so hard, isn’t it?
- If you can believe it, Trish & Steve Blackman were talking about his kendo stick here -

Michael Cole: Put your eyes back in your head.
Tazz: I can’t find ‘em.
- After seeing Trish doing the 'worm’ -

Raw 15 May

Christian: Look at Eddie Guerrero. What's Spanish for chumpstain?
Edge: El chumpstain.
- On seeing Eddie in Raw magazine -

Taste the Rainbow of fruit flavour. A rainbow of flavour.
That's cool, right? I've never tasted a rainbow before.
- Paul Heyman after advertising Skittles bite sized candy -

Edge: You know what? I hope we can help Kurt get his medals back from Benoit.
Christian: Yeah, you think they mean that much to him?
Edge: Well there’s that and then we don’t have to hear him talk about it anymore.
Christian: Yeah.

~ April ~

Lita: Linda, I just wanted to tell you that was simply amazing out there. It was so awesome the way you stood up like that. It was just…I’m just glad I caught you. Thank you, it was inspiring, it really was.
- Lita congratulating Linda McMahon for standing up to Vince -

Matt: So, Vince just turned to you and made a match with the three of us against Stephanie, Triple H and Austin? I mean, just like that? That was it? I mean, what exactly did you say to Linda?
Lita: I just, I wanted to catch her before she left. I told her she was inspiring.
Matt: Inspiring?
Lita: Yeah.
Matt: Tonight’s gonna be inspiring to say the least.
Lita: Yeah.
Matt: Jeff, what do you think about all this?
Jeff: What do I think?
Matt: Yeah.
Jeff: I love it. I mean, I should go thank Vince right now. I got chills man. You realise what an opportunity this is? I mean, last week we beat the Big Show, just days after TLC 2. I mean, what the hell do we have to lose? Austin and Triple H aren’t a team, like us. They’re not tight, like us. Tonight, I say we go out there, we take on Austin, Triple H and Stephanie, we go out there, we beat Austin, Triple H and Stephanie.
Matt: Hell yeah.
Jeff: We’re Team X-treme, lets act like it.

This man has no honour. He can’t spell dignity.
- JR about Regal -

Well, I think it was brutal. B-R-UTAL.
- Edge on the Holly’s beating up Rhyno.

Christian: But its not about that tonight. It’s about E&C and their seventh reign as WWF Tag Team champions. And to celebrate, we’ve got seven sodas with seven little umbrellas, cause sodas rule.
Edge: Yeah, they do.

Really? I can join you guys? Oh man. So I can give up women,
I can give up my beliefs and I can dress just like you guys?
Man, that would be sweet. What are you? Outta your minds?
Get outta here before someone sees me talking to you losers.
- Test to Right to Censor (after they asked Test to join them) -

Well, being the Intercontinental champion would be great.
But tonight it’s about payback.
Its about revenge for my brother Matt and Lita.
- Jeff Hardy before his match with Triple H (which he incidentally wins and becomes IC Champ) -

Big Show: What? Do you sleep with those damn things?
Steve Blackman: Sometimes.
- Hmmm…Blackman sometimes sleeps with his nunchucks. LOL -

Backlash 30 April

Hello Big Show. I saw what you did to Test so I thought I’d try to
calm you down by reading from this fable to turn that frown upside down.
This story stars a giant, a beanstalk and a boy named Jack
but for the purposes of this story, the boy will be named Shane O’Mac.
Now Shane had a dad
That was angry and crass
Because at Wrestlemania
Shane kicked his dads ass
Shane’s dad was sore
He could barely walk
So he called Shane out
For a father/son talk
They stood in the ring
Face to face and toe to toe
When Vince called out for the giant Big Show
Fe fi fo fum, I’m 7 foot tall but me plenty dumb
Show grabbed Shane by the neck
Picked him up off the mat
Then chokeslammed Shane down
With a ferocious splat
Vince grinned from ear to ear
Upon seeing the crash
He said “You two will compete this Sunday at Backlash”
Once the match started
The giant looked high and low
But he couldn’t find Shane
Which way did he go?
Up to the top of the mighty beanstalk
The people were stunned
They could barely talk
The fairytale ends
With a mighty crash landing
When it was all said and done
Shane O’Mac was the last man standing.
- Shane McMahon tells us a little story about ‘The Last Man Standing’ -

Raw 17 April

The most dominating force in the WWF. That's alot of big talk for a couple of guys who have had the Tag Team titles a total of five days. Math time fellas. You have been the Tag Team champions once. We have been the Tag Team champions seven times. Oh yeah, so technically that makes us seven times better than you.
- Edge to Kane and Undertaker -

The only difference between us and you when it comes to fighting is that you see us coming.
- Jeff Hardy to Stone Cold and Triple H -

In case you haven't figured it out, we don't know the meaning of the word 'quit'. Regardless of what you do to Matt and Jeff Hardy, we'll keep coming back again and again and again and there's nothing you can do to stop that.
- Matt Hardy -

Wrestlemania 2 April

There's always danger when it comes to the Hardy Boyz because we give it our all every night man, we put our bodies on the line all the time. And TLC matches are very dangerous and you're right, there's alot of elements of danger in these matches and all we got to say is, I mean, I'm going into this match like it's my last.
- Jeff Hardy in an interview before TLC 2 -

~ March ~

That was pretty dream-like crazy.
- Jeff Hardy to Shane McMahon about buying WCW -

I think especially after tonight that your favourite letter is the letter 'P'.
- Jericho to Regal after he 'peed' in his teapot -

JR: There goes the Snapple.
Heyman: That's my favourite kind - diet peach.

~ February ~

Raw 20 February

She’s beating him up!
She’s trying to swallow him whole.
- King about when Lita kissed Matt back, after he kissed her for the first time -

Smackdown 10 February

I’ll get naked at the drop of a hat.
- King, this is more than I wanted to know -

There’s alot of similarities between lotteries
and your wife, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
They’ve both almost been played by everyone.
They both only cost a dollar to try.
And while with the lottery, sometimes you win and sometimes
you lose, with Stephanie you always get lucky.
- Chris Jericho to Triple H -

Nobody’s gonna see that match, it’ll be that quick.
- Kurt on his upcoming match against Essa Rios -

~ January ~

Royal Rumble

The definition of a concussion is a bruised brain.
You think the Dudleyz got brains?
C’mon, there’s nothing to bruise in there.
- King -

You think Edge was lying through his multiple teeth?
- King -

King: I love it when Edge talks trash.
JR: Does it keep you aroused?
King: What?
JR: Well, you said you love it. How much do you love it?

My teeth are perfect. I’ve almost got as many as Edge.
- King -

Life is tough and its even tougher when you’re stupid like Jericho.
- King -

JR: That ladder has been an equal opportunity offender here thus far tonight.
King: That’s the funny thing about that ladder; it don’t care who wins.

Now what? Are they going to fight or just undress?
- King when Matt & Jeff Hardy removed their shirts -

Smackdown 12 January

If you want something, here’s a novel idea, speak English.
- Edge to Regal -

Regal: What do you say Edge? Are you man enough?
Edge: Man enough? I’m not the one running around, stuffing things down my pants in order to win my matches. But you know what? I guess you need those brass knuckles because you definitely don’t have a set of brass balls. So Regal, I accept your challenge at the Rumble and I hope that big schnoz is fully functioning because you’re gonna need it to smell me totally reeking of awesomeness.
- Regal challenges Edge to a match at the Rumble for the IC title -

Raw 9 January

I’m gonna stick with my little deal.
That’s’ DTA. Don’t trust anybody.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin -

Theres an old saying Vince. That a leopard can’t change its spots. Well neither can a jackass. No, no, no. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking a jackass don’t have spots. I know that, but if it looks like a jackass and it smells like a jackass, then it’s a damn jackass.
- Stone Cold to Vince McMahon -

King: But you can say something about Jeff Hardy’s hair if you want to.
JR: It is somewhat colourful, is it not?

Well you don’t impress The Rock for one single solitary second.
Quite frankly, you’ve taught The Rock a lesson.
That even you, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, a two dollar, no. Fifty cent, no.
Take all the nickels, dimes, quarters and pennies, put ‘em all in a bag
and stick ‘em straight up your candy ass slut.
- The Rock is not impressed by Stephanie putting him in a handicap match -

King: What are the Hardyz doing in there?
JR: They’re tearing apart Dean Malenko is what they’re doing.
- On Hardyz trying to break Dean’s leg after he was caught peeking on Lita in the shower -

I pity da fool that has to try to throw him out of the Royal Rumble.
- King on someone having to get Rikishi over the top rope -

See ya. Wouldn’t want to be ya.
- King about ref Teddy Long falling out of the ring after Rikishi backed his ass up -

This is totally gonna reek of awesomeness.
- Edge -

That was brutal.
- Edge -

King: You know, I just keep waiting every week, I expect the people from The Guinness book to show up and measure Albert’s head.
JR: 8 & 3/8’s you know.

That infamous can of whoopass has been opened, JR.
- King about Stone Cold laying it out to Kurt Angle -

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