The last time Victoria got whistled at was right before a train hit her.
- King -

JR: Are you gonna ride that broom or are you gonna use it?
King: Yeah, she's used to riding one.
- About Victoria getting out a broom in her Hardcore Rules match w/ Trish -

When it comes to a trash can lid or a broomstick,
the broomstick wins.
- King -

Tag Team partners don't shake hands.
Tag Team partners gotta hug.
- Kurt to Benoit. Is this what Tag Team partners get up to when noone is watching? -

JR: Loopid. What the hell's that?
King: Losers and stupid. Or stupid losers.
JR: Talk about assclowns.
- On Matt V1 & Chris Nowinski combining the words 'loser' & 'stupid' -

JR: Where is this going, King?
King: I don’t know but I wish it would hurry up and get there.
- On the Chris Nowinski/Matt Hardy ‘Loopid’ promo -

Raw 12 November

The X-treme always gets you noticed.
- King said that Jeff Hardy told him this -

And FYE, by the way is For Your Entertainment.
- King on the difference between FYI and FYE -

The referee didn't see it.
- Ok, yeah this is a common quote but its funny what the ref never sees -

That's the prettiest testicle I believe I've ever seen.
- King about Stacy -

Two for the price of one.
You've gotta be kidding me!
- King on Rosey jumping through a table that had Jeff and Spike laying on it -

It's not life or death, it's more important than that.
- King on the World Tag Team titles -

Raw 5 November

Like most women in my life, she's ignoring me.
- JR about Victoria ignoring his question -

I mean, why are you out here if you're not gonna talk?
- King to Victoria at the announce table -

How come he can say chambaaaaa and not suckaaaaaa?
- King on Jericho saying chambaaaaa (elimination chamber) & sucka (instead of suckaaaaa) -

I put on a mask and dress up like Kane to screw a mannequin.
You put on a mask like Vince McMahon to make out with my ex-wife.
Now who's screwing who?
- Triple H to Eric -

Don't hate the player, hate The Game.
- Booker T to HHH -

Shawn Michaels, huh? The HBK. The Has-'Bin' Kid.
- Chris Jericho -

It's time to cut your hair.
- Stacy to Test -

That little weasel-like creature.
- JR about Rico -

King: Hey, that hat looks very familiar.
JR: It looks like one of Trish's hats.
- I think Victoria stole Trish’s hat too -

Triple H: Great music video you had there.
Jericho: Of course it was great, I was in it.

~ October ~

Jackie's probably the toughest.
Molly's probably the better wrestler but Trish is the Champion.
- I'd have to agree with King on this one -

Thats like dogs and cats living together.
That ain't right.
- King on Jeff Hardy and Bubba Ray teaming up -

Kane's chestnuts were roasting on an open fire a long time ago, weren't they Katie?
- Triple H to the Katie mannequin -

No wonder Kane liked you so much.
- Triple H to the mannequin Katie as her skirt was up -

Stacy: What do you have?
Test: Gee, I don't know Stace, what do I have?
Stacy: You have testicles.
Test: Ohhhh...you have got to be kidding me.
Stacy: No. As your marketing person when I get done with you, your testicles are going to be huge.

If I didn't get paid, I wouldn't come to work.
- Tazz -

Nobody wants to be called a sucka.
- King -

I guess I'm more of a chair-smashing, frog-splashing,
risk taking, Van Dam-inating dude named Rob Van Dam.
- RVD makes up a jingle like Ric Flair's -

Cole: You think Nidia really did like the kiss from Tajiri?
Tazz: I don't think it matters to Nidia. You gotta tounge, she'll suck it.

Jericho: I see how you've been looking at me. I know you want me. And I think after the match you should come back to my dressing room and get a little bit of what you really want - an injection of vitamin 'C'.
Trish: Talk about delusional.

Well one thing I do know is you can't spell Jericho without the 'h-o'. HO!
And Jericho, he talked about giving Trish a dose of vitamin 'C'.
Well I'm gonna give him a dose of vitamin 'T' straight up his punk ass like a large mouthed bass.
Now can you dig that suckaaaaaaaa!
- Booker T to Victoria -

I'm obsessed with cleavage.
- Can you guess who said this? -

Your country has a Queen. Now you can be one too.
- Goldust to Regal before the Las Vegas Showgirl match -

Well I can tell you who won't be my partner. Any of the Un-Americans.
You see, since I'm in this match, I'd actually like to win it.
- Christian before the Raw Roulette 4 Way Tag Team match -

Eric: TLC. Tables, Ladders & Chairs.
Hurricane: Oh my. Holy Mick Foley.

I think Smackdown is better than Raw, definitely better, by far.
And I don't think its the talent on the show.
- Lita on WWE.com -

All I'm saying Eric is that maybe if you had some respect for the people that work for your show
and risk their lives in this ring night after night, they might have some respect for you. It's just my opinion.
- Lita -

What can I say...chicks dig the mask.
- Kane after Terri kissed him -

Roses are red
Sometimes they're thorny
When I see Trish Stratus
I always get...
- King was trying to be like Jeff and write poetry -

I feel magnificent. I feel glorious.
I feel glorificent, you assclown.
- Chris Jericho while being interviewed by Terri -

If you think I'm going to be intimidated by some kind of giant red freak
jackass in a crazy, scary mask well you are...ahh…(Kane walks up to Jericho)

JR: King, he (Christian) stole my damn hat.
King: Well, go get it back.
JR: I'm busy.

JR: Don’t forget you can still vote for the 2002 Babe of the Year at wwe.com
King: I’m voting right now. Look at this JR. Does this count as a vote?

~ September ~

Look at him. He's a freak. Just like me.
Just like all of these Kaneanites out there.
And you know what? Freaks are cool.
- Kane about Hurricane -

You see Kane and the Hurricane are the perfect match.
We both wear masks. We both use the chokeslam.
And we have two of the most impressive physiques in the WWE.
- Damn right...Hurricane -

This is not the Triple H show. This is not the Ric Flair show.
This is Raw. This is the fan's show.
- Bubba Ray Dudley -

Cole: In a matchup like this you really do need eyes in the back of your head.
Tazz: Yeah...at least two.
- On a Triple Threat match between Angle, Benoit & Mysterio -

JR: Bischoff must have been in an extremely foul mood when he signed this matchup.
King: I just don't think he likes Jeff Hardy very much, do you?
JR: No, obviously not.
- On Jeff Hardy vs Big Show -

When he's hungry he eats more lunch than Jeff Hardy weighs.
- King on Big Show -

Just because Rikishi used your face as toilet paper, don't blame me.
- Booker T to Eric Bitchoff -

Your breath is heinous like a fat man's anus.
- Booker T wants Eric Bischoff to step back -

After last night, does HLA still stand for Hot Lesbian Action or Huge Lumpy Ass?
- Booker T's full of jokes tonight -

JR: What makes you go crazy every time you see puppies?
King: Because they're beautiful, they're lovely to look at.

I haven't seen anything that bad, that unbearable since Chris Jericho's last Fozzy concert.
- Goldust after seeing Rikishi giving Eric the stinkface of a lifetime -

You desire to be in this business, you sacrifice. You sacrifice the time with your kids. You miss them growing up. But you have a goal in mind. You know that one day all the sacrifices that you make, it's gonna make it easier for your children. You just hope you're there to enjoy it. I love the fact that I can go out there and I can affect peoples emotions. I enjoy going out there and laying it all out on the line. I like taking my body to the limit. I love what I do. For the fans that have watched me over all these years, I just hope they realise that I gave everything that I had in mind, body and spirit.
- Undertaker WWE Desire "Adrenaline" from xXx Soundtrack -

As a matter of fact, if I was gay I probably would marry Chuck.
- Billy -

I don't have a problem with gays. In fact, gay people love me.
Everybody loves me. I'm freakin adorable.
- I think Kurt loves himself more -

I remember that these fine ladies used to like you so much that I had to ask you
to stay away because the cookies were giving up too much free nookie.
- Godfather to Billy -

Tazz: Edge is on Hurt Street. You know where that is, right?
Cole: Next to Dream Street.
Tazz: No, its 2 blocks from Dream Street.

I'm always scared before I wrestle; it's just that if there weren't any fear in me, it wouldn't be that big of a payoff. That’s just what like really fires me up about it. I don't think there’s a day that goes by that I don't feel like I've had enough and there’s nothing left. But desire means never quit.
- Jeff Hardy WWE Desire "Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace -

There’s nothing left to prove
There’s nothing I won't do
There’s nothing like the pain
I feel for you
There’s nothing left to face
There’s nothing left to lose
Nothing takes your place
- Part of "Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace -

I've seen better legs on tables.
- King on Bubba Ray wearing shorts -

I personally am quite taken by the way that you display your abilities. I am. I watch you. I watch you Triple H and everybody’s got to admit, man nobody can deny you have proven time and time again that brother, you can spit some water.... What I'm not impressed by that? Of course I am, hey everybody’s got to admit that that takes talent. (claps)
- RVD thinks Triple H's only talent is spitting water -

We want Jeff.
- The crowd during a Matt Hardy Version 1 match -

Kurt: Listen here Cheech.
Eddie: Essay...the name is not Cheech, Holmes. It's Eddie Guerrero.
Kurt: Whatever.

And Rey Mysterio. I want you to remember one thing. You're a boy in a man’s world. And I'm a man that loves to play with boys. No no no. Wait a minute. Shut up. What I meant to say is you're a boy and I'm a man and tonight I'm gonna love to manhandle you. No. Hold on a second. Shut up. Rey Mysterio, you remember this pal. You're a boy and I'm a man and when you and I get together here tonight I'm gonna get on top of you and...NO. Mysterio get your butt out here. I'm gonna kick your butt.
- Kurt mixes up his words and makes a fool outta himself as usual -

How do you expect him to treat these fans here in Denver when you look out there
and you see they've got a sign that says 'King of the Assclowns'. That shows no respect.
- King -

You know panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, JR but they are next to it.
- King -

I've got one for ya.
Roses are red
Violets are lame
How 'bout I beat you
With my Singapore canes.
- Tommy Dreamer to Christopher Nowinski -

Does the hymen have anything to do with the granny panties that Molly wears?
- King to JR -

King: What have you got against Jericho?
JR: Nothing.
King: Oh yeah right.
JR: He's just arrogant.
King: No wonder he calls you an assclown. And by the way, whats that?
JR: No idea.
King: Oh...you know what a hymen is but you don't know what an assclown is.

And as far as that smug look on your face is concerned. *Haha*
If I was you, I'd wipe it off because one day somebody like me is gonna come along and smack it off.
And then one day, I will be World Heavyweight Champion.
Now if you'll excuse me...champ, I've gotta go and put somebody through a table.
- Bubba Ray to Triple H -

You know what I say to virgins don't you? Thanks for nothing.
- King -

Eric Bischoff: (to Stacy) If this match was all about assets, my money would be on you.
(to Terri) On the other hand, if it was about pillows, you my girl, would be the hands down winner.
And that’s why this is gonna be such a great match up. I can't wait.
Stacy Keibler: Well at least my pillows are 100% natural.

Flair - he's chopping anything that’s got a heartbeat.
- JR -

~ August ~

These next quotes are from when some of WWE wrestlers were in Australia for the Global Warning Tour and Fan Frenzy. Fox Sports Australia interviewed them on various issues and these were my fave responses. And can I say that Chris Jericho was the sweetest thing ever. Far as I know this 15 minute segment was only shown to Australian fans.

Rey Mysterio: It's so physical. Wrestling is physical. We get banged up everyday. We wrestle four or five days a week. Our style a little bit more riskier. But we like it. Yes, we do limit our careers. But then again, we love it.

Maven: Someone I respect alot is Christian. I mean, heres a guy who is one of the nicest guys in the world. One of the nicest guys I've ever met in my life. He goes out there and can have the place hating him in seconds. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable...the character transformation he makes.

Chris Jericho: The worst gimmick I've ever seen. Probably The Red Rooster, in like about 1990 there was this guy and he had blonde hair but he had this red kind of rooster thing up here (gestures to his hair and holds it up like a mohawk) and there was no apparent reason why he walked around like this. (pretends to waddle like a rooster) The Red Rooster...what does that mean? And he'd go "The Red Rooster is egg-cellent. This is egg-stroadanary". It's like (pretends to stick his fingers down his throat) Brutal.

Fox Sports: In your mind, who's the pick of the Divas? Who's the sexiest of the lot?
Maven: Ever since I was a fan transforming into this business, I thought Trish Stratus is gorgeous. One of the most beautiful women on the planet.
Rey Mysterio: The pick. Who's the hottest? God. I would have to give it to Torrie. Yes definitely. Without a doubt.
Triple H: The Divas. The best sort. I would have to go with Torrie Wilson.
Fox Sports: In your mind, who's the best sort amongst the Divas?
Jericho: The best sort?
Fox Sports: The best sort. It's probably an Aussie term.
Jericho: It is. I'm from Canada. I don't know what you're talking about. The hottest one? The prettiest one? Probably Torrie Wilson. Stacy's hot as well. They're all hot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jericho: Since Flair rudely interrupted my Fozzy concert last week on Raw, I'm gonna give all the Fozzy fanatics a special treat.
JR: Where are the Fozzy fanatics, by the way?

Folks. Bear with us. I promise you it will get better.
- JR as Jericho was singing his special treat. His rendition of 'New York, New York' -

Kane: These people didn't come here tonight just to see the Spinarooni.
They came here to see the Kanearooni.
King: A Kanearooni. Thats historic.

Finkel: I am very proud to say that this is the first Pay Per View that I've announced in this very arena since Wrestlemania II. Thank you.
King: Well, so what. What is he doing?
JR: Was this called for?
(Trish Stratus' entrance music starts to play and Trish starts walking to the ring to interupt Finkel)
JR: Wait a minute.
King: Hey. This is what you call for. It's very welcome.
JR: I think business just picked up.
King: Oooh baby. It's Trish.
JR: Trish stealing Howard's spotlight. Somebody already stole his hair.
King: Come on, pour your heart out Trish. I think she's already doing that, isn't she?
JR: Wrestlemania II...who cares?

Trish (to Finkel): I never realised until tonight what a sexy voice you have.
King: Sexy?
JR: Is she drunk?

Edge: Well, what about your ribs?
The Rock: The Rock's ribs. The Rock's ass. The Rock's got hurt ribs. Big deal. There is no quit in The Rock. No quit in me my friend...No no no no no no way. The Rock says this: you go ahead and take out The Rock's ribs...fine. Take off one of The Rock's arms, he'll fight you with the other arm. You take off one of The Rock's legs, The Rock will hobble and hobble and hobble and keep hobbling and whoop their monkey ass with the other leg. Easy big fella...easy. Oh yeah...you can go ahead and take off one of The Rock's testicles. The People's testicles. Oh yeah. The Rock will take the other one, throw it way up in the air. Keep watchin it...damn thats a good ass testicle. The Rock will take his boot, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and...
Edge: And stick it straight up Benoit and Guerrero's candy asses.

Big Show: Why is he getting the I.C. title shot and not me?
RVD: Ahhh...maybe cause you're a tool.
Big Show: Look. I am 7'2". I am 500 pounds. I'm a giant.
RVD: Oh, ok. You're a giant tool.

JR: Jericho...as aggressive & as physical as we have ever seen him here tonight.
King: He's trying to prove to you he's the King of the World.
Y2J (during his match with Ric Flair, unaware that King & JR are just talking about the same thing): I'm the King of the World.
King: You hear him? You hear that?
JR: I heard him. He says that all the time.

King: You can always tell a Harvard graduate...
JR: By the H on his ass.
King: No, you just can't tell them very much because they're smarter than a treeful of owls.

Well theres two things you don't like about Triple H and thats his face. Because only a two faced individual would be able to stand and put his arm around Shawn Michaels, tell the world that he's Shawn Michaels best friend and then take Shawn Michaels' head and run it right into a car window.
- King -

Women in this business, their place is like mine:
on top.
- Stephanie McMahon -

Eric Bischoff told me that he thought the Hardcore title was sort of like Smackdown.
He said it was boring. Personally, I like Smackdown.
People say I've got no taste, but I like Smackdown.
- Jerry 'The King' Lawler -

I'd say somebody peed in his cornflakes this morning...but he'd probably like that.
- King on why he thinks Tommy Dreamer is in an exceptionally bad mood -

How do my peaches taste now?
- Stephanie to Eric -

You're right. Dreamer is the innovator of violence.
- King -

Well, Australia is a great country.
They don't deserve Test, I can tell ya.
- JR referring to Test coming to Australia for the Global Warning Tour -

The chair went right back in the face of The Game.
It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
- JR wasn't too upset that Triple H got a chair shot in the face by HBK -

He was about as entertaining as a documentary on dirt.
- King about Minidust -

When it comes to sex, every woman wants to have it. Just not with you.
- King to JR -

'Just a little more.' How many times have you said that in your life?
- JR says to King after he says 'Just a little more' to Stacy dancing in a G on the announce table -

Mark: What do you mean 'referee's screwing you left and right'?
Kurt: Do you even watch the matches?

Cole: I'd still like to know what started the big fight in the back between Nidia & Torrie Wilson.
Tazz: Who cares. It was cool.

Squeal? Chris Benoit said he’s gonna make The Rock squeal.
Well, The Rock doesn’t know what squeal means. What is squeal?
- The Rock -

I love any kind of panties.
- King -

If I were no longer on the show,
there would be no reason to watch (Smackdown).
- Kurt Angle -

I just got pinned by a freakin 12 year old.
- Kurt Angle about getting pinned by Rey Rey -

~ July ~

King: I like to be repositioned every now and then.
JR: I bet you do.
- JR and King on the Raw announce table being moved -

Everybody's got one. Some people are one.
- King after the crowd called Eric Biscoff an asshole -

With a haircut like that and a face like that,
it looks like Billy Ray Cyrus went and had sex with a retarded hyena.
- The Rock to Eddie Guerrero -

Well, in reality, unlike you, at least I look good in my underwear.
- Jackie Gayda to Molly -

Hey look. That guy likes big butts. He's a Molly fan.
- King after seeing a guy holding a sign that said 'I like big butts' -

He's talking out both sides of his mouth.
- JR, can you really do that? -

There's a saying here in New Hampshire: "Live free or die".
I'm living for the moment. I'm not dying tonight.
- Jeff Hardy -

Ruthless
Aggression
What?
- A fan sign -

He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- King about Steven Richards -

I won't be screaming, moaning & groaning
like that Chucky Cheese, rat face, punk ass X-Pac.
- Don't hold back Booker T -

"Don't lose".
I think that's the only instructions that he ever gives to Brock Lesnar.
- King about Paul Heyman -

He's full of himself. I love it.
- King on Shawn 'HBK' Michaels -

What's up with Jeff Hardy?
Did he spill his pink lemonade all over his shirt today?...And his hair?
- King -

And Molly got back...let's face it.
- King refers to the size of Molly's ass -

He's hurtin' for certain.
- King about Spike Dudley getting a beating -

Now Lesnar is like a declawed kitten.
- King after Ric Flair gave Brock two low blows -

Get to the point!
- A guy in the crowd yells out to Shawn 'HBK' Michaels -

Hear what Undertaker called Jeff Hardy at the end of that match?
He said he was a tough son of a bitch.
And thats high praise coming from The Undertaker.
- King -

Easy pootie-tang.
- JR to King, who was drooling over his Trish poster -

JR: She just needs experience.
King: I'll be glad to give it to her.
JR: I'm sure you would.
- On Jackie -

~ June ~

JR: This kid's got alot of guts.
King: Well, he may have alot of guts but they may get spilled all over this ring if he's not careful.
- JR and King on Jeff Hardy going against Undertaker -

She spun in mid air to avoid falling on her fat ass.
- King about Trish beating Molly's ass down to size -

My way to beat you.
My match to beat you.
A LADDER MATCH.
- Jeff Hardy challenges the Undertaker -

King: Actually, who wouldn't take the bait. Look at Nidia. The more I look at her...
JR: You like her because she's breathing...and she's female.

JR: That Nidia looks like she needs a long, hot shower.
King: I bet you'd like to take that shower with Nidia, wouldn't you?

It's the rare bandana wearing, grease rat.
But be very careful. They tend to suck.
- Goldust as Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter about X-Pac -

The Jabroni beating
Loud pie eating
Trail blazin'
Eyebrow raisin'
All around
Smack it down
People's Champ - The Rock

If I can be serious for a minute...
- We at TTR know when Lance gets serious, he gets naked -

Can you dig that...SUCKA!
- Yep, looks like Booker T's 'SUCKA' is getting popular -

Stop trying to talk like The Rock.
Walk like The Rock. Stop wearing The Rock's T-shirt,
Putting a little eyebrow on, painting your hair.
Stop touching yourself. Stop all that. Stop it!
- The Rock to his impersonator, Goldust -

I'm gonna be a star, dammit. Or I'm gonna die trying.
- Jeff Hardy a few days before his ladder match against Undertaker -

Why put off kicking somebody's ass next week when I can do it right now.
- Undertaker tells his motto to Kurt Angle -

It was the living full Brahma Bull
Jabroni beating, Pie eating
The Rock says he's walking fast
Whoopin' ass
The People's Champ - The Rock
- The Rock likes to rhyme -

King: These two guys hate each other anyway...from that old Extremely Crappy Wrestling company.
JR: ECW.
King: Yeah, thats what I said.
- On Raven and Tommy Dreamer & what ECW really means -

Why don't you use your famous oral skills and tell me where your little boyfriend, Jamie Noble is.
- Hurricane to Nidia -

The posterior challenged Molly.
- JR -

I'm really glad that you and your partner have found a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Suck It'.
But Billy, you come to this ring, the only thing you're gonna be sucking on is the end of this sledgehammer.
- Triple H to Billy & Chuck -

Wow! She does have a kaboose like a moose.
- King about Molly's rather large behind -

Pain is optional
Suffering is inevitable.
- King -

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.
- Stone Cold after he pissed on Arn Anderson -

That's the weirdest looking throw up I've ever seen.
Who threw up in there? A clown?
- King when Tommy Dreamer chucked a bucket full of confetti in the ring -

Oh really. Boyfriend. Singular, I hear.
So you're limiting yourself to just one now.
- Hurricane to Nidia (The Hurra-Bitch) -

I guess it's better to have a limp wrist than a Limp Bizkit.
- Tazz on Rico faking a hand injury to help Chuck & Billy win the Tag Titles back -

King: I do want to see Molly in a thong next week though.
JR: Really?
King: Yes! I wanna see anybody in a thong.

~ May ~

He ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. He don't care if he hurts himself.
- King on RVD jumping off the apron to kick an opponent hanging over the safety barrier -

JR: Regal reached into his tights cause god knows Molly wouldn't do it.
And got his brass knucks. The only thing hard in his tights.
King: JR please. I know you'll never get to third base with anyone with language like that, JR.
JR: That just makes me sick.
King: Especially not Molly.

Can you imagine seeing Edge bald?
I've seen better heads on a pimple.
That's gonna be a horrible sight.
- Lucky we didn't have to see Edge bald, King -

This crowd is letting Kurt know that he sucks.
Just in case he had forgotten.
- JR -

Hey Angle. You're so sick of everyone chanting 'You Suck'.
Well from now on, they're gonna chant 'You're Bald'. Hit the music.
- Edge after the 'Hair vs Hair' match at Judgement Day -

A man big enough to block out the sun.
- JR about the Big Show -

Catching up with Jeff is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole.
You just can't hardly get it done. Jeff Hardy - The Risk Taker.
- JR -

Speaking of chests, that reminds me of Jackie in High School.
If she had any more D's in her bra size, she would never have graduated.
- King -

Wait a minute now, JR. Don't get all excited just cause she (Trish) is wearing a black cowboy hat.
She's not horizontally accessible to you, I can assure you.
- King to JR -

The last time I saw something that looked like you Raven, I flushed it.
- King -

These guys are coming in slow motion.
Get down here you idiots.
- King when the Security that Slick Ric called for came very slowly -

Lesnar - He has no neck, he has no conscience.
- JR is right -

Once again, you hit the nail right on the thumb.
- King about JR's comment about there being not one human that Stone Cold trusts -

I'm trying to get the F out.
- King on trying to say WWE but WWF keeps coming out instead -

If you would just allow me to have a drink of your slurpee, I'll give you a bite of my weiner.
- Goldust to Booker T in 7-Eleven -

JR: That Goldust is goofy as a pet 'coon. What's wrong with him?
King: I don't know but I don't want a bite of his weiner either.

Matt had no idea where he's at.
Flat on your back Matt.
- King can also rhyme -

You never know where Van Dam's feet are coming from.
I think they stay attached to his legs sometimes.
- King on the fact that RVD's educated feet seem to have a mind of their own -

He never goes on vacation...cause he's on a permanent ego trip.
- King about RVD (I don't think it's true, just sounds good) -

JR: So disrespectful for a...
King: For a Smackdown guy to come here unwanted.
JR: I didn't say that.
King: Uninvited.
- On Chris Benoit (A SD guy) coming to Raw -

Cole: The one thing that Orton will receive tonight...well, he's gonna receive...
Tazz: A beating.
- On Randy Orton in a match with The Undertaker -

JR: I don't trust these three as far as I could throw them.
King: You can't throw the Big Show anywhere.
JR: I know that.

King: Now JR, throughout this match I don't want you to sugarcoat it, I want you to say what you actually feel about Paul Heyman.
JR: Heyman is a human urinal.

JR: Unless Van Dam is wearing a....a cup.
King: A what? Hehehe. From the look on his face, no cup. Oh Oh...
JR: I think he's cupless.
King: Eddie's (Guerrero) gonna check it out and see if he's wearing one.

King: What's happened to Jeff Hardy's left arm?
JR: He's an artist you know.
King: Did he dip it in a paint bucket or what?

~ April ~

Pull those pants...down, I mean...pull those pants if you get a chance.
- King on Trish and Molly in a pinning predicament with lots of pant pulling -

You suck
Yes I do suck
And I'm a dork
It's true
P.S. I have no testicles.
- This is what Edge wrote on the back of photo's on cards while Kurt was reading them -

JR: How'd you like to wake up next to that every morning?
King: She's one of those girls who doesn't even get prettier at closing time.
- JR and King are talking about Jazz here, can't you tell? -

I guess that pretty well sums it up.
- Michael Cole after Ric Flair says "Oh shit" about not seeing
Stone Cold's foot on the ropes during the match he refereed -

King: I'm begging the ref to wake up. Flair, there was no tag there. Is he watching the same match we're watching?
JR: I think so.
King: Always out of position, never seeing anything. Couldn't see an elephant in a phone booth.
JR: You know, refereeing's a hard job. Not everyone can do it.
King: What? You say refereeing's a hard job.
JR: I think so. I've done it. Have you ever done it?
King: All you gotta do is count to three and make sure nobody's feet are on the ropes.

That can't feel good unless you're wearing a couple of cups.
- JR on Jeff Hardy getting knocked from the top ring and landing in a not-so-nice position -

The state bird of Texas.
- King after Stone Cold gave the finger to Ric Flair -

Moments ago, Paul Heyman barging in on Lita's locker room
and man did she ever slap the taste out of his mouth.
- JR knows that Heyman got exactly what he deserved -

I knew you'd be a beer drinking, ass kicking idiot tonight.
- Ric Flair to Stone Cold -

One thing about Jazz, she can back up what she says.
- King on the fact that Jazz doesn't say much at all -

Is the only exercise you get jumping to conclusions?
- King to JR -

Stacy, you can't make me come just by telling me to.
- Triple H just doesn't want to come with Stacy...hmmm -

Five grand for a stunner. That's alot of money.
- JR about Ric Flair fining Stone Cold $5000 for a Stone Cold Stunner -

Nothing says lovin like somethin from the oven.
- King when he saw a cookie sheet in the ring -

You think it's repulsive to see what X-Pac looks wearing it.
You should see what Kane looks like without it.
- King on X-Pac stealing Kane's mask and wearing it -

Puh and I might add lease.
- Kurt on HHH defending the Undisputed Championship against Hogan at Backlash -

Finally, someone stop the pain.
- Cole on Edge coming out after Kurt goes hyper saying "It's true" over and over again -

Kurt, how do I tell you this? Your Olympic gold medal win, it was inspiring,
it was uplifting, but more importantly, it was six years ago.
Dude, you need to get out of the past and start living in the present.
- Edge -

Well, Kurt. I'm gonna say something you don't hear very often, but it's a date.
- Edge says it's a date for a match at Backlash -

These people shouldn't chant 'What?' after everything you say.
I mean, Stone Cold came up with that and he's on Raw now
and besides, you are an Olympic gold medallist.
You're a very special man, Kurt Angle.
That's why these people should chant something else after you say something.
Something...something very special...something...something very you.
I think after everytime that Kurt Angle speaks everyone should show their
appreciation by chanting 'You suck'.
- Edge knows the crowd loves calling Kurt names -

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a loud mouth Canadian with long blonde
hair who dresses like a rock star....well except for you, you're cool.
- Kurt while talking to Jericho about Edge -

What's a trumpet doing in the ring?
- King during a Hardcore match between Bubba Ray Dudley & Booker T -

Freaks kick ass.
- Kane -

Just like the lion roars & the chicken clucks,
it's a simple fact of life, X-Pac sucks.
- Kane tells us exactly what he thinks about X-Pac -

Speaking of Trish...I usually am.
- King -

Van Dam is quicker than a hiccup.
- JR on RVD's quick in-ring skills -

Pepperspray his ass.
- JR on how to get Vince to leave the ring -

He's got too much free time, that rascal.
- JR after seeing Jeff's green hair in pigtails for the first time -

He's not letting success go to his hair.
- King about Jeff Hardy -

And Jeff has a handsome head of hair.
- Like, we've known that for ages, JR -

JR: Bubba's pulling out his wood.
King: Hehe...huh?

Vince: Quite frankly, you look more my type.
Tazz: Yeah, she's a woman.
- Vince to applicant three for his Personal Assistant job, which Stacy ends up getting -

Trish: I can show my ass but I can also kick ass.
And I'm gonna start with yours tonight.
King: Woah, show it...show it and kick it. Kick it and show it, JR.
JR: Lotta ass talk.
- Trish wants to kick Terri's ass -

Jericho: Angle, you pompous jackass.
Michael Cole: That's the pot calling the kettle black.

~ March ~

Michael Cole: You make me absolutely sick, you know that.
King: Tell me you didn't just say that. I'll let JR call me an idiot every now and then, but you Michael...

Don't yield, just stop.
- King on Al Snow hitting Big Show with a Stop sign -

That's the old 7'10" split.
Well, if that doesn't beat Big Show, nothing will.
- King on Al Snow rolling a bowling ball to Big Show's crotch -

Nobody wants to be a has-been.
- Matt Hardy to Chris Jericho -

Say goodbye to the precious little flower.
- King really means 'Say goodbye to the bitch called Stephanie' -

Anytime you mess with The Rock, tonight, every night,
every arena across the country, this side will say 'You are', that side will say 'an asshole'.
- The Rock wants the crowd to call Vince an asshole -

You damn sure didn't make The Rock. The Rock didn't even make The Rock.
The Rock's parents genitalia did not even make The Rock.
Just so you understand, crystal clear, it was the people who made The Rock.
- The Rock to Vince McMahon -

That's it, it's go time.
- Kurt to the crowd who was disrespecting Stephanie, as usual -

Watch out for that toothpick. You could poke an eye out with that.
- King on Scott Hall flicking his toothpick about in the ring -

I don't think the world is ready for that.
- J.R. knows the world isn't ready for Stephanie to become the WWF Undisputed Champion -

I love it when a woman says "Do it again".
- King after he heard Torrie say "Do it again" to Tajiri -

You're right. Stephanie has been a barrel of laughs.
- Triple H after showing a clip of Stephanie's Most Embarrassing Moments -

Hey, whatever. Of course they're both gonna want me to make their show better, right?
But whether it's on Monday nights or Thursday nights, it's all good.
No matter where I go I'm still gonna be Rob Van Dam.
- RVD to Lilian, who asked which show he thinks he'll get chosen for -

I've seen better faces on Gargoyles, than that Jazz has.
- I don't think King likes Jazz much -

Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na
Hey Hey Hey
Goodbye.
- The Canadian crowd to Vince after finding out he would be leaving Raw to go to Smackdown -

Maybe the World Wrestling Federation can never have enough lying, whining, coniving bitches.
- Triple H refers to Stephanie -

You're alot smarter than you look.
- Triple H to Stephanie -

But the good news is if Farooq were picked by one
show and I was picked to be on the other show,
then one of us would be on the same show as you,
so technically the APA can continue kicking your royal ass.
- Bradshaw to Regal on the Smackdown before the WWF Draft -

Who do you think you are convincing with this ridiculous drivel?
- J.R. to King during the Undertaker & Ric Flair match at WM -

It takes two to have a great match.
- (Well, yeah) King on Hogan and Rock's match at Wrestlemania -

Regal is a rather pompous ass, wouldn't you agree?
- I would have to agree with J.R. on this one -

I am sick of looking at you.
I am sick of your whiny little voice.
I am sick of your bitch attitude.
I want you out of my business.
I want you out of my life.
- Triple H to Stephanie -

It's all about whipping the crowd into a frenzy.
- My Dad on Vince and Ric out in the ring arguing -

Are they gonna draft the announcers?
- Jim Ross to King -

I would trade you for two Howard Finkel's and a bottle of Sav.
- King to Michael Cole -

I know you say I suck up, but JR,
it's not sucking up if you really mean it.
- King -

Right now, those educated feet are getting re-educated.
Regal's taking RVD back to school.
The school of hard knocks.
- King during Regal and RVD's match at WM -

Hey, don't get hot 'cause you're not getting any.
- Matt Hardy to Regal -

Please don't hurt the puppies!
- King during a Lita and Trish match -

Booker, Booker, Booker.
I can't believe you're out here complaining about not having a title shot at Wrestlemania.
I mean, didn't you hear? You already have a title.
You are officially the dumbest man in the entire company.
- Edge to Booker T -

I find it strange that someone with the word 'Book' in his name has apparently never read one.
- Edge to Booker T -

Kurt: Yeah, Crisp & Clean with no caffiene.
Edge: What the hell was that? Do you not realise what all these Edgeheads know?
You're not the red, white and blue machine. You're just really, really white.
Quit trying to be cool, it's just not your thing.

In the meantime, I'd like to cue up Kurt Angle's music so we can all practice our "You sucks".
- Edge wants the crowd to practice saying "You suck" to Kurt -

That is sick and perverse.
- J.R. on Vince liking the fact that Undertaker was ripping Ric Flair limb from limb at WM -

You're right, she does stink....doesn't she Lucy?
- Triple H thinks Stephanie stinks -

I'll make that whole childhood burny thing seem like a papercut.
- Kurt Angle wants to hurt Kane some more -

It's all about Stephanie and her lotion.
- JR on Stephanie and her 'Pristine Mist' that ended up giving her hives *heh heh*-

More guts than brains.
- King on what Stone Cold Steve Austin's got -

What in the hell is that hive ridden jezebel doing out here?
- J.R. about Stephanie -

The night is lame. The fans are fine.
- JR to King about 'Fan Appreciation Night' being lame -

You know what I don't like, JR? Sex on television.
I tried it once, I fell off.
- King after seeing the Divas Sex on the Beach special being advertised -

You left a few things so I brought you a box of your stuff.
And since it's your box, appropriately, it's quite large.
- Triple H to Stephanie -

I can see Edge doing maybe a toothpaste commercial or something.
I mean, he's got 32 beautiful white teeth and that’s just on the top.
- King on Edge getting the shampoo commercial but he thinks his teeth are better -

Listen, why would you want the dog in the first place?
Isn't one bitch in the house enough?
- Triple H tells Stephanie he wants 'his' dog, Lucy back -

If his brains were chocolate, he wouldn't have enough to fill an M&M.
- King on Maven wanting to take on Undertaker -

Now the shoes on the other foot and all of a sudden the Undertaker is a rotten piece of garbage, huh.
- King -

You know what that 'do is called, JR? That's a medusa.
- King on Booker T's hair style -

Lita: Well, first of all you do not see a Women's title belt around my waist.
King: I see a thong.
Lita: So, my next goal is to become the next WWF Women's Champion.
- Lita to Lillian, who asked what her next goal is -

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.
- King -

Wait a minute now. You said everything was split 50/50.
I just wasn't sure which half you wanted.
- Triple H to Stephanie after she saw that her car was cut in half -

Hey, the alarm still works.
- Michael Cole comments that the alarm still works even though the car is cut in half -

I was so obsessed with what Hulk Hogan was, I forgot about what Hulk Hogan is.
A jaded, self centered, bitter, son of a bitch.
- The Rock -

I'm just worried about Stacy Keibler.
I mean, her having a leg injury,
that's almost like a giraffe with a sore toe.
- King on Stacy's leg injury, which didn't end up being real -

You know what they say about a one legged man in a butt kicking contest?
They don't fair too well.
- King on Stone Cold Steve Austin against the nWo -

Stone Cold, he's left the equalizer in the ring.
- Michael Cole on Stone Cold leaving a steel chair in the ring when going against the nWo -

I'm sure any cardiologist watching out there will be happy to hear that this kid has a great heart.
- King on Maven -

Oh, we're gonna sell some shampoo, baby. That's good stuff.
- Edge after hearing he got the Japanese shampoo commercial -

Japanese Man: You have hair like the lion.
Edge: Yeah, cool.

King: C'mon Kurt, focus. Think about Stephanie's hives.
JR: Yeah, that'll really motivate a man.

Lance: I'm not taking you lightly, I'm taking you very seriously.
RVD: A little too seriously if you ask me, Lance.
You know, all that built up tension, that's not healthy. What you need to do is lighten up.

Christian: I feel like an idiot.
DDP: You don't look like one.

King: What does she see in him?
Michael Cole: He's probably a wonderful guy.
King: You need an X-ray to see something in this guy.
- King wants to know what Lita sees in Matt Hardy -

Crowd: Asshole asshole asshole asshole.
Vince: Now come on. Rock's my #1 pick, don't call him names like that.
King: Oh, they're talking about Rock.
JR: No. No, they're not.

Michael Cole: Now, Kurt Angle, I believe has gone Olympic.
King: Yes, he has gone Olympic. Tap out!

~ February ~

You suck. What?
- The crowd chants in time with Kurt Angle's entrance music -

I said Jericho was arrogant, he's not stupid.
- Jim Ross -

I bet you wish your future was as bright as Stephanie's dress, don't you?
- King to J.R. about Stephanie's very bright and small pink dress -

You see, when it came to the bedroom, The Game always came up a little bit....short.
- Stephanie, you can really be a bitca sometimes -

You know, Steph. Maybe it was not so much that it was The Game that was short.
Maybe it was that the field I was playing on was just too damn big.
- Triple H's big comeback, hehe -

Even a 747 looks small when you're flying it into The Grand Canyon.
- Triple H refers to Stephanie's, um....assets. If you can call them that -

The poor Spanish announce table is cursed.
- King on why the Spanish announce table always getting wrecked -

Look at that ego-maniac pandering to the idiot fans out there.
Mr Main Event would never do that.
- Jericho about Triple H -

What part of 'shut up' don't they understand.
- King on Kurt Angle telling the crowd to 'shut up' and stop saying 'What?' -

Her voice was like a cow that just stepped on it's own udder.
- King reckons he heard J.R. say this Oklahoma saying about Stephanie -

I've never seen Stone Cold Steve Austin turn down a beer in his life.
- King on Stone Cold refusing some beer from the NWO -

I bet you've never even looked at Trish's shoulders.
- J.R. to King -

I can go Olympic on your ass.
- Kurt Angle -

A little malfunction at the junction there.
- J.R. -

You don't walk off a shoulder injury.
- King to Michael Cole -

Jericho was not trying to run like a scalded dog.
- King to J.R. -

Look at that piece of trash right there.
Is that Chris Jericho?
- Stone Cold thinks Jericho is a piece of trash. I mean, who's gonna disagree? -

Don't ever call your father an a-hole. That's what Triple H did.
- King referring to Triple H calling Vince McMahon an a**hole -

It just goes to show that the apple can bounce miles from the tree on occasions.
- J.R. is referring to Goldust here -

You think it's funny when Stone Cold Steve Austin rolls into a dry county. What?
- Stone Cold Steve Austin on arriving in Arkansas -

That's not a threat, that's a promise.
- JR regarding Undertaker's comments of hurting Ric Flair -

Kurt Angle, come out and play.
- 'The Game' Triple H -

I really like that skirt.
You think I can talk her out of it?
- King seems to like Stacy Keibler's skirt. Hmmm..... -

Look at how the camera just loves Chuck. There's actually not a bad side to you, bro.
- Billy referring to Chuck's photos on the new 12 months of Billy and Chuck calendar -

Slap that smile off his face, if you can.
- Jerry 'The King' on Christian slapping DDP -

Somebody give him a straight jacket.
- Michael Cole after seeing Christian throwing a major tantrum when losing the European Championship to DDP -

They remind me of two Malibu Ken dolls.
- King refers to Billy and Chuck -

Life's a bitch. Then you marry one.
- Triple H to Stephanie -

Steph, don't leave mad. Just leave.
- Ric Flair to Stephanie -

Damnit! That's my drinking hand.
- Stone Cold after hitting Scott Hall -

Slap the red right outta that ponytail of his.
- King on what Stephanie should have done to Jericho -

Michael Cole: The audacity of that woman.
King: The audacity of these fans here.
- Michael on Steph saying she's the reason for Triple H's succes and King on the crowd calling Steph a sl*t -

Stephanie: So, Chris. What do you say we be more than friends. Lets be business partners. What do you say?
King & Michael Cole (in unison): Business partners!
King: Ha, stereo. Do you think he'll accept?
Jericho: What do I say? I say that Triple H's worst nightmare just came true.

Jericho: Are you ready, partner?
Stephanie: Partner, I was born ready.
JR: This makes me sick, King.

Woooooo here, wooooooo there, who cares?
- King seems to be getting a bit tired of all Ric Flair's 'Woooooo's' -

She looks like a teapot.
- Nicole on Stephanie walking down the ramp to make her big 'fake' pregnancy announcement -

How many jobs, do you know in the world,
that you can go around and call your boss an asshole and get away with it?
- King -

Smashing!
- As said by the fake Doctor, Stephanie, Triple H and King -

Michael Cole: He does throw temper tantrums, King. He's out here like a cry baby everytime he loses a damn match.
King: Well, nobody likes to lose.
- Michael & King on Christian throwing tantrums all the time -

Christian: I guess you're expecting me to throw a temper tantrum, huh?
King: You are, aren't you Michael?
Christian: And I guess you like the fact that a former Intercontinental, European and seven time Tag Team champion can't even win a match anymore.
King: Oh, its a shame.
Christian: Well I'm not gonna cry. I'll do you one better. As of right now, I quit.

I think he's an animal
What?
You know what I'm saying?
What?
I think he's a jackass
What?
He's a big, fat jackass
What?
- Stone Cold thinks Scott Hall is a jackass -

JR: And you talk about a total lack of.....
King: Disrespect. Is that the word you're looking for?
JR: Yeah, disrespect. Indignant. An arrogant, overbearing Undisputed Champion.
- JR and King on Jericho beating the hell out of Steve Austin with his own beer cooler -

Kurt Angle: Imagine having to go through life with Triple H as your father.
Wow. I mean, even as a fetus, the kid is smarter than his dad.
Now, I'm not a scientist but looking at Triple H with the sloping forehead
and the mean, angry face and the bare knuckles dragging on the ground.
I mean, I'm not a scientist but Triple H is not a man. He's something else....literally.
King: What is he?

DDP: And no, Christian, you don't wanna quit.
Christian: I don't?
Arn: He doesn't?
DDP: No, he doesn't. You see, Christian. The reason why you have been losing is because you're harbouring all this negative energy.
Christian: That's a bunch of crap! I'm not negative.
DDP: *hehe* Bro, you're one of the most negative guys I've ever seen. And the only way you're gonna get where you wanna go is to harness that negative energy into something positive and that's the only was that you're gonna start winning.

King: All I find out is how much people weigh and how big their heads are.
JR: Right.
King: I get the in-depth stuff.
JR: Yeah.

King: I like this song.
Michael Cole: You would.
- King seems to like Billy and Chuck's new 'boy band' entrance music -

Bubba Ray: Hit the skids kid. Get outta here.
Christian: Oh, snap.
- Christian barging in on the Dudleyz talking to Ric Flair before the Tag Team Turmoil match is made at No Way Out -

King: He's got the lethal left hand. 'The Power of the Punch'. He was blessed with it, William Regal was.
JR: He got blessed with the brass knucks.

King: Oh, Stacy Keibler. She's got those kind legs, JR.
JR: What kind?
King: The kind I'd like to have wrapped around me. Oh, they're beautiful.

King: She's got a great voice too.
JR: Yeah, like breaking glass.
- Jerry 'The King' and J.R. on Stephanie talking with the mic -

King: Did you say Tampa, Florida?
JR: Absolutely.
King: I'd like to take Stacy Keibler to Florida and 'Tampa' with her.

King: First ever.
JR: I know that.
King: Only one in history.
JR: Ok.
King: He’s like the head honcho.
JR: The main man.
King: The big cheese.
JR: The big kahuna.
- King & JR referring to Chris Jericho being the first Undisputed Champion -

~ January ~

Thanks to Doug for the following quote
King: JR, know what I wouldn't want to be right now?
JR: What's that?
King: Next.
- As Undertaker is awaiting the next entrant in the Royal Rumble match -

What in the blue hell are you smiling at, you sick freak?
- The Rock loves making fun of Coach -

Well, you're gonna need a calculator to count all the Woooooo's that he's gonna receive.
- 'The King' knows that Ric Flair is gonna get lots of Wooooo's from the crowd -

It just shows you, you don't have to play the lotto to be lucky.
- King on Maven eliminating The Undertaker in the Royal Rumble -

If you want something, here's a novel idea, speak english.
- Edge to Regal -

Kurt: I mean, where was Triple H during the Invasion anyway?
Christian: I don't know, he was probably sitting at home spinning U2 records or something. I don't know.
Kurt: U2. He probably was. I can't stand that song.*sarcastically says* It's a beautiful day.

Kurt: I'm not gonna let a guy like Triple H, a guy that tore his quadricep.
I mean, he was out for 8 months. I tear my quadricep all the time.
I tore it this morning, I'm fine. I'm here, I'm jumping around.
Christian: I see ya.
Kurt: I'm not gonna let a guy like that steal my thunder.

Regal: What do you say Edge. Are you man enough?
Edge: Man enough? I'm not the one running around stuffing things down my pants in order to win my matches.
But you know what, I guess you need those brass knuckles because you definately don't have a set of brass balls.
So, Regal, I accept your challenge at the Rumble and I hope that big schnoz is fully functioning because you're gonna
need it to smell me totally reeking of awesomeness.

Jerry Lawler: I've got a question. Who picked these numbers?
Jim Ross: They're drawn randomly.
- 'King' and JR on Jeff Hardy entering the 30 man Royal Rumble two minutes after Matt Hardy -

This is all Austin's fault
What?
Making up this stupid catchphrase
What?
Go ahead, say it again
What?
- Kurt Angle referring to the crowd saying 'What?' all the time -

You wanna mess with me, Kane?
What?
You wanna go toe to toe with me?
What?
To quote the popular singer, Shakira
What?
'Whenever Wherever'
What?
What, you people never heard of Shakira before?
What?
What, you're not hip like me?
What?
- Kurt is basically saying that he will take on Kane 'Whenever Wherever' -

I don't think even a government mule could take this much punishment.
- King during the Ric Flair vs Vince McMahon Royal Rumble match -

Sometimes you have both contact lenses in the same eye.
- Jerry Lawler on the way Jim Ross sometimes sees things -

He never saw a mirror he didn't love.
- JR on Test -

Yeah, I bet right now the Big Show probably wishes those garbage cans
were made of chocolate cause he's gonna be eating them.
- Jerry 'The King' Lawler during a hardcore match between The Undertaker and Big Show -

You come out here flappin your little gums, runnin your mouth,
flappin your gums some more, you're still runnin your mouth.
I don't hear nothin but garbage.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin to Vince McMahon -

Once you go Test, you forget about the rest.
- Test trying to crack onto all the WWF women -

Look at all the toys under the ring.
- Jerry 'The King' Lawler -

If you go out there and say 'Who?',
this audience could very well say 'What?'.
- Vince McMahon to Booker T -

He looked like laundry hanging out to dry.
- Jerry Lawler after seeing RVD hung over the top rope -

Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich.
What in the blue hell are you doin?
- The Rock to Coach singing 'Copa' -

The Rock: Is that what you like? You like the Copa?
Coach: Yeah.
The Rock: Well, copa your ass on outta here, jabroni. Beat it!
King: Yeah, copa that.

You're not gonna be seeing the People's bottom.
You damn sure are not gonna be seeing the People's strudel.
But what you will see Booker T, is without a shadow of a doubt, not just any ass whoopin.
You are gonna see the People's ass whoopin. 1-2-3.
- The Rock -

I just can't believe that Stacy Keibler's wearing those panties I sent her for Christmas. Yahoo!
- Jerry Lawler after Stacy's skirt got pulled down for the hundredth time -

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