~ October ~
Raw 19 October
You've been stood up more times than a bowling pin.
- King to Coach -
~ September ~
Raw 7 September
JR: Conway's very good, if you don't believe me just ask him.
King: Oh, he'll tell you.
His future's so bright he has to wear sunglasses at night.
- King on Rob Conway -
~ August ~
Raw 24 August
Coach: The model of excellence is Rob Conway. Look at the man.
King: You can't help but look at him, he's wearing see through tights.
King: JR, have you ever heard of a foot fetish?
JR: Ah, thats not allowed in Oklahoma, maybe up around Stillwater.
King: Well, wherever Snitsky is from apparently it occurs quite frequently cause Snitsky's got a foot fetish. It's not necessarily a bad thing. He just finds women's feet very, very attractive.
Raw 10 August
King: If you're not real careful and Matt Hardy gets real angry, you know what he'll do Coach?
Coach: What's he gonna do?
King: He'll send you a nasty email.
Coach: It'll be mean, won't it?
Raw 3 August
JR (about Rob Conway): Is he gonna wrestle with his sunglasses on?
King: Wait a minute, he is. Can he do that?...It's the Con-way obviously.
JR: Apparently so.
~ July ~
Raw 27 July
Eric Bischoff: What you're going to get is a handicap match. You vs Snitsky and Chris Masters. How's that sound?
Shelton: A muscle head and a toe sucking psycho, it sounds about like your breath smells; it stinks.
King: I remember earlier during the battle of the bands, Cena gave a pretty moving performance didn't he?
Coach: Yeah, people were actually moving towards the exits, thats what they were doing.
Raw 20 July
The Masterpiece has muscles in places most people don't even have places.
- King -
Chris Masters, you're just like a squirrel in the winter time; you got no nuts.
- Big Show -
John Cena (to Maria): When you go down South on Cena safari, are you scared of the venom of the great white trouser snake? No, you just go down there and you're ready for action.
Raw 13 July
Carlito (to Chris Jericho): Everybody wants to be a guest on Carlito's Cabana, you know Chris Jericho, really I'm flattered. Why don't you have a seat and let me show you how a real show is conducted...and here, have an apple.
Carlito (to Jericho): The Highlight Reel is just like you, really boring, really outdated, basically it really sucks.
I'm Chris Canadian Cool.
- Chris Jericho -
Do I still have to be quiet?
- JR asks King if he still has to be quiet during Chris Masters entrance -
How long would I have to let my hair grow to get it
to look like Carlito's? And then stick my finger in a socket.
- King -
Raw 6 July
Well obviously, when you talk about Hulk Hogan's daughter, thems fighting words.
- King -
Coach: You gotta say that Gene Snitsky is alot smarter than he looks.
King: I had a comeback to that Coach. I was gonna say "He'd have to be" but I'm not gonna go there now.
They didn't even let Vis get his pj's off.
- King on the Heart Throbs attacking Vis -
Chris Jericho: And on this set tonight, right here right now, you're not gonna see any cheesy deck chairs or stupid palm trees, this is the Highlight Reel daddy-o!
Y2J; homie, I look at you and see Y2Cheap.
- John Cena -
Would any of you ladies like to blow on the Sargeant's whistle?
- Sargeant Slaughter to the Diva Search contestants -
Let's see how good she is in the sack...she's great in the sack!
- King about Ashley in the Bikini Bootcamp sack race -
She's not very fast but she sure is pretty.
- King on Simona -
~ June ~
Raw 29 June
Carlito: The Cabana's about to replace the Highlight Reel as the number 1 show here on Raw and don't worry, we're not gonna be playing any of Fozzy's music on this show.
RVD (to Carlito): A lemon, did you call me? That's funny because when I think of you I think fruit.
Summer: What's up y'all? Do you know what time it is? It's Summertime. And I guarantee you, I will be the hottest and wildest Summer you ever experience.
Coach: Okay, that is Summer.
King: My favourite season.
Vengeance 27 June
What's your favourite side of Christy Hemme? I like her back side.
- King -
At least he didn't chokeslam her.
- King on Kane almost attacking Lita -
Why can't Kane just focus on Edge & not worry about Lita?
- Good point Coach -
King: I know you're happily married but is your wife?
JR: I'd like to think so.
King: What size do you think that smoking jacket is?
JR: Probably about a 5X.
- About the jacket Viscera was wearing -
There are 301 marriages a day on average in Las Vegas
and Lilian will not be participating in one.
- JR after Viscera didn't accept Lilian's proposal -
You know what they say, what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
It looks like Vis may be staying awhile.
- King -
Why do these guys hate the Spanish announce table?
- King on Jericho & Cena taking apart the table -
Raw 22 June
I have been laughed at, I have been spat on,
I have been tied to a post where Daivari gives me spankings.
- John Cena imitating Muhammad Hussan -
These people don't hate you cause you Arab American,
they hate you cause you Asshole American.
- John Cena to Hussan -
Look at Lilian's smile. The only thing bigger than her smile is Viscera himself.
- King -
When I become the champion, Fozzy's record sales are gonna go through the roof.
- Chris Jericho -
King (on Lita): What a beautiful bride. She's so...so classy.
JR: And look, her shoulder tattoo matches her shoes!
It's not my fault you fell in love
It's not my fault it came from above
It's not my fault Edge and Lita chose this direction
It's not my fault Kane can't get an erection
It's not my fault the things that love can do to us
Just like it's not my fault you had a dead baby in your uterus.
- Snitsky's poem to Edge & Lita -
Lita, everyone knows me as 'money in the bank'
and now you also know me as 'money in the sack'.
- Edge's vows to Lita -
Lita: I don't care what these people say and it might hurt but if falling in love with you makes me a slut, well then I'm proud, I am proud to be the slut of the century!
- Lita's wedding vows to Edge -
Raw 15 June
I ain't saying I'm too good, I'm just saying I don't like you
so therefore I don't want to shake your little grubby hand.
- Stone Cold to Muhammad Hussan -
King (to JR): Shh...quiet. How many times do I have to tell you; you are not supposed to talk during the Masterpiece's entrance?
Raw 8 June
This is my show poser, so go take a stroll
Canada in the house cause that's how I roll.
- Christian to Cena -
That's how you roll, like you've got your routine mastered
I'm gonna put you in your place, you creepy little bastard
Christian used to come to the ring up through the fire
Wearing a Seinfeld shirt, thinking that you was a vampire
You couldn't cut it with the Brood, they even put you on the shelf
Gangrel was sucking blood, you were sucking something else
There ain't no way you could walk a mile in my shoes
You went from swallowing blood to blowing people's kazoos.
- John Cena to Christian -
King (on ECW): If the shoe fits then you wear it. I don't believe these ECW fans were so passionate. If they had so many fans why did they go under?
Raw 1 June
Lilian, just the thought of you in that swimsuit outfit, wooooo!
What big Vis wants, Big Vis gets and momma, I gots to have it!
- Viscera wants Lilian apparently -
It's like everytime you and I go down to the ring
to try and do something good, something bad happens.
- King to JR -
Sometimes I wonder if those aren't self inflicted hickeys.
- King about the Heart Throbs -
More legs than a bucket of chicken and probably finger lickin' good too.
- King on Stacy Keibler -
It's about time someone shut you up.
- Batista to Hussan -
Jericho is a hot commodity.
- Chris Jericho -
Chris Jericho: And because I am the Highlight of the Night, the Epicentre of Excitement, the Sexy Beast, I'm going to interview the very first draft lottery pick coming from Smackdown to Raw.
I get it, is this a case of your equipment malfunctioning?
Have you been suffering from some premature pyro?
- Jericho to Kane -
And we cannot forget the skills. Yeah, the skills or actually the lack thereof.
You're like a fourth grader in the bedroom.
- Lita tells Kane what she thinks -
He knows trash when he sees it.
- Eric Bischoff about Kurt Angle -
They've got a rapping, hip hop, poser champion that couldn't make
me say I quit even if he forced me to listen to his lame ass CD John Cena.
- Christian -
~ May ~
Raw 25 May
Lita: Kane, you could never satisfy me. In fact, no man that I've ever been with could have satisfied me. Except one. The man I've been seeing behind your back for months now. The next World Heavyweight champion, Edge.
You know, you can call her a slut but she's my slut.
- Edge about Lita -
You're all jealous cause I've got this fiery redhead sexpot by my side.
- Edge -
Shelton (to Bischoff): You're right about John Cena though. It would be great to have him on Raw. The only thing better is you going to Smackdown.
You just really can't help but admire Eric Bischoff.
If you don't, you get fired.
- King -
Jericho equals ratings.
- Chris Jericho -
Look at the Smackdown roster.
This show definitely, definitely needs a charisma bypass.
- Christian -
Tyson Tomko: Who's Mark Jindrak?
Christian: I don't know but I beat him.
You know what they say about being late, if you're important they'll wait.
- King -
I don't even know why you call them ECW rules.
There are no rules in ECW.
- King -
Maria's a little bit voyeuristic. She likes to watch.
- King -
Raw 11 May
You had your rematch, you lost.
You were in the tournament, you lost in the first round.
Maybe you're just not good enough to face me again.
- Batista to Triple H -
King: We can't have Raw without Triple H.
JR: Triple H said it, he's leaving.
Viscera: Yeah, mmm...damn, these nachos taste just about as good as you do Lilian. Do me a favour, announce the winner of that match just one more time.
Lilian: Here's your winner, Viscera.
Viscera: You know baby, when you say my name that really turns me on. You want some of my nachos? I know you want some of my nachos, don't you?
Lilian likes nachos.
- King -
Kane: I always get what I want.
Lita: And so do I.
Kane: You know, that's what makes us such a cute couple.
Look at Lilian. I haven't seen her smile this
much since Viscera was out here with those nachos earlier.
- King -
Todd, my zippers stuck. Do you think you could give me a hand?
- Stacy Keibler was gonna show her favourite pair of panties from the Stuff mag shoot -
Raw 4 May
JR: Lita still using that crutch after a cheap shot by Tomko.
King: You’re kidding me, you noticed she had a crutch?
JR: I notice things like that.
King: I’ve said before, if Lady Cadaver rolled by, you’d notice the horse.
How can you be happy if you were married to Kane?
- King says after noticing Lita was smiling -
He’s more like Captain Crunch right now.
- King after Kane sidewalk slammed Christian -
You lost the match kid, so take it from the Nate-ch,
the winner of this Tournament will be Triple H.
- Ric Flair to Christian -
I hate that guy.
- Christian as Ric Flair walked away from him -
Edge (to Victoria & Lita): What the hell are you two looking at?
Victoria: Absolutely nothing.
You think that brick is still in there?
- King after Edge hit Jericho with his money in the bank briefcase -
~ April ~
Raw 27 April
Don't look at me like that in my dressing room.
- Christian to Ric Flair -
Christian: If you want to tell Triple H something, you tell him if he wants some competition maybe he should try getting himself drafted to Smackdown next month, maybe he could beat Michael Cole.
Christian: Historically, Canadians like myself have been much, much smarter than you Brits. So I'll talk very slowly. Nice teeth by the way.
He's an incompetant zebra.
- JR on Coach as referee -
Raw 20 April
Excuse me, we are trying to have a conversation here people.
Bunch of idiots.
- Trish to the crowd -
People, if you don't be quiet I am gonna walk out of here.
- Trish to the crowd, to which they cheer -
Much like you, payback's a bitch.
- Lita to Trish -
Viscera: Glad to be of service.
Trish: Okay, thank you.
Viscera: But I'll be even more glad when you service me.
Trish: Uh, what do you mean by service you?
Viscera: You know the deal that we made. I do something for you and then you do something for me.
Trish: Let's take it slow, you know what I'm saying big man? We'll take it slow, cool?
Viscera: Yeah, we'll take it slow. We'll take it real slow. Like all night long type of slow.
Trish: Oh yeah, sure.
I never thought I'd wanna be Viscera.
- King while Viscera kissed Trish -
These two guys are far from light in the loafers.
- Coach about the Heart Throbs -
They remind me of maybe like Chippendale dancers or something like that, rather than wrestlers.
- King about the Heart Throbs -
King: Poor Shawn Michaels. I've just got a feeling...
Coach: I think that's gas King. I don't think it's any good feeling for Shawn Michaels.
King: I shouldn't have had the pepperoni pizza.
Yeah, that's the way they like it, two on one.
- About Daivari and Hussan -
You're too fat, I couldn't even put it (the Masterlock) on you.
- Chris Masters to a guy in the crowd -
That guy should never wear blue, people will try and mail letters in him.
- King about a guy in the crowd -
Chris Masters: You think you're a tough guy?
Roman: Well, I'm from New York.
You should have known better than to mess with me
A seven time champion you'll never be
You claim to be the greatest superstar in town
But you're momma gave birth to a big assclown
Shelton, Shelton's a little bitch
Shelton, Shelton's a little bitch.
- Chris Jericho sings Fozzy's new song to Shelton Benjamin -
That may be the best song I've ever heard from Fozzy.
- King likes Fozzy's new song -
Okay, you & I can agree, we're both peeps.
We both love Captain Charisma.
- King to Coach -
Vince McMahon (to Christian): One thing I can't stand is someone who comes out here and all they do is talk, talk, talk yet they don't say a damn thing.
King: Uh oh, he's not a peep.
Vince McMahon: My old nemisis Stone Cold is right when he labelled you a CLB - a creepy little bastard.
Christian: I'm not creepy.
Christian: Well, I don't like to brag but I would kick Marky Mark's ass and take his WWE title cause that's how I roll.
- About John Cena -
Raw 13 April
I don't think I've ever seen a leg drop like that.
I'd like to see it again.
- King about Christy's leg drop -
JR: Trish with a cheap shot on the outside.
King: Why is everything Trish does a cheap shot? There is absolutely nothing cheap about Trish.
JR: Well, you're probably right about that.
Why can't The Game have an equaliser?
- King about HHH wanting a steel chair against Hurricane & Rosey -
Stacy Keibler: I love it over here. Everyone is so great and so friendly and they just make us feel really, really welcome over here.
- About Australia during the Raw Wrestlemania Revenge tour -
Our Australian fans are very enthusiastic, very respectful & very appreciative.
- Batista -
Shelton Benjamin: It's been an awesome tour. It's been fun for everyone and the WWE has been doing what it does best and that's to entertain the world like no one else can do it.
- About Australia during the Raw Wrestlemania Revenge tour -
Don't beat him too quickly, I'm enjoying this.
- King about Shawn Michaels beating up Daivari -
Shelton Benjamin: I can do things in this ring that nobody else can do. Nobody, that's right. Raw 6 April
Her with all those curves and me with no brakes. You gotta love that little laugh. I think he's lying through his tooth. Simon Dean: These people, they don't care about their bodies, oh no, they act like they do but instead they'd rather sit around in their seats eating nachos and drinking beer. After scanning this crowd, I think L.A. stands for Lard Asses. Stone Cold: You said you paid for your time out here, how much you pay for that stupid haircut? Because if you paid $5 for that haircut you paid $4.95 too much. Wrestlemania 4 April
~ March ~
Raw 30 March
Christian: You know, you're all out here talking about being hungry but you don't look hungry to me. In fact, you look full...full of crap. I'm at my best when my back's against the wall. Eric Bischoff: Batista, sorry to barge in here like this. Eric Bischoff: I need your word that tonight during the Face Off with Triple H there is going to be no physicality. We are six days out from Wrestlemania 21 and I cannot afford an injury. JR: She's been training every day with Lita. She can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the trip. Raw 23 March
There may be no antidote to that poison. JR: The World Heavyweight champion Triple H, King, on his way out here to talk. He's got something to say. King: Have you ever been in a ladder match JR? Triple H: You have a warped sense of fact let me tell you. Do you live on the same planet we do? What's wrong with Orton? JR: If Orton will do this to Stacy Keibler, god only knows what Orton will do to beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania 21.
Raw 16 March
Jake The Snake Mr Orton, it seems to me I need to reintroduce your brain to your mouth because you're talking out your ass.
Randy Orton: At Wrestlemania when I end Undertakers winning streak, I will have made a bigger impact than you have made your entire career. I wish that Daivari would do us all a favour and pull his lip over his head and swallow. Raw 9 March
If life hands you a lemon, throw it at somebody. King: They're not gonna be just falling off the ladder JR, they're gonna be thrown off the ladder, they're gonna be hit over the head with a ladder. That's why I don't like ladder matches. I hate having to hit my head on anything other than a headboard.
Trish Stratus: Hey everybody, just wanna let you know that if you ask her really nicely, she will personally autograph your magazine. That's right, just give it to her and she will autograph the word 'slut'! You remember how to spell that right? Remember cause if you forgot I could always knock you out again and just spray paint it on your forehead. We're the three amigos - it's you, me and the sledgehammer. Raw 2 March
This Hussan's head is getting too big for his towel. JR: You know why Trish is out here? JR: Trish Stratus has got a real problem with the success of Christy Hemme. ~ February ~
Raw 23 February
I've been crazy about girls ever since I found out I wasn't one. King: C'mon JR, have you tried that Simon System? Why does he wear a watch when he wrestles? He ought to just stay down, he wouldn't have so far to fall. Maybe if we flush, he'll go away. There's alot of signs here tonight at Penn State. Why do I always detect a note of sarcasm Raw 16 February
You say I'm the poster boy for stupidity Chris Jericho: You're still young, red blooded males aren't you? You still have penises right? Well, I don't know about that guy there but Hussan you still have a penis right? Fan Sign: Love It Or Leave It Muhammad. King: Tell me a little more about Shelton's humble beginnings you were talking about earlier. You remember when he was a kid growing up, he was an honour student. He was always saying "Yes, your honour, no, your honour."
Christy Hemme: Posing for Playboy doesn't make you a slut, sleeping with half the locker room, that makes you a slut. JR: I can't believe quite frankly that Bradshaw had the Spaldings to actually show up here tonight. Raw 9 February
Christian: That's how I got the name Captain Charisma. As for all my Japanese peeps or as I like to call them, my Jeeps; they're very loyal, very loyal. Hey, nice hair, don't ever change alright. Why aren't you writing this down? Just because you people like sumo wrestlers, Raw 2 February
King: You said earlier, it’s gonna get ugly. At least, it got ugly for these guys when they were both born. Kane, Snitsky; one on one inside a steel cage.
King: Why do we have to be so politically correct when we talk about these two idiots? I’d like to tell ‘em what I really think of ‘em. Triple H: Why shouldn’t he go to Smackdown and make that money and wrestle JBL for the WWE championship. I mean, well, that’s a championship he can win. Trish just helped Lita get back on her back again. ~ January ~
Royal Rumble 31 January
King: I told you earlier what Edge told me. He said 'after tonight he is gonna personally make the H.B. in HBK stand for Has Been.'
King: Edge taking advantage of Shawn Michael's hair, more than once in this match. You gotta admit, Edge does have better hair.
My name is Christian, the King of Crunk Captain Charisma; walking around with your fake smile He’s got those Krispy Kreme eyes, they’re glazed over. Don’t try to blame it on the sledgehammer. I think that the ring is turning into a woodshed here. Raw 26 January
That’d bring a tear to a glass eye. Oklahoma celebrating JR Day. That is like crap telling puke it smells good. Eric Bischoff: I'm not sure I like the sounds of this, two on one. Val went bankrupt on that money shot, nobody there. King: He was Evolution's future but he walked away from it. *Randy Orton gets a thumb in the eye from Ric Flair* He walked away from Evolution and walked right into Natech's thumb.
JR: I guarantee you, Flair knows all about low blows. Raw 19 January
Chris Jericho: Let me let you two little assclowns in on a little secret, this is the Highlight Reel, this is a talk show and in this country it’s customary for the host, me, to introduce the guests, you, not just have you wander out here whenever the hell you feel like it. A cheap shot from behind by Maven, which is not unusual these days. This guy’s so good sometimes he reminds me of myself. It may be a cheap shot but it’s legal. JR: We’re a long way from San Antonio, Texas here in Toronto, Canada. King: They say travel broadens a person, well from the looks of him, Viscera’s been all over the world. How wide is he?
I don’t even know how you get Viscera two inches off the ground. Trish Stratus: Thank you. Thank you. It feels so good to feel appreciated. Thank you. I’ll tell ya, those idiots in the States, I mean they just don’t get it, you know what I mean. You should see the things they call me. It’s disgusting frankly. They’re a bunch of U.S.A-holes. But listen, I’m not here to gloat but I hate to say I hold you so but I told you so, you see, I told Lita that if she faced me at New Years Revolution it would be over, just like that and as you can see by the shiny title on my shoulder, Lita’s oh so inspiring comeback is over, just like that. And not only did I beat her but I absolutely destroyed her knee which means she’ll be out for a long, long time. Now Lita honey, just in case you’re listening, I know it’s gonna be a long, long road to recovery and a lonely road at that and I just wanna let you know that there is a locker room full of men who would be more than happy to impregnate you and give you that baby that you keep yammering about. I mean, just cause your knee is messed up doesn’t mean your uterus isn’t open for business. So sweetie, lie back, put your legs up and relax.
Raw 12 January
Look guys, it’s the legend killer or should I say buzz killer. You wanna know the problem I have with you? You complain about everything. New Years Revolution 10 January
King: Will you go ahead and admit that Eugene’s antenna doesn’t get all the channels? You know it doesn’t. Look at that outfit. I told you his elevator didn’t go all the way to the top. King: Tattoos used to be a poor mans way of investing in art but now Tyson Tomko has taken it to a new level.
King: It’s beautiful down here but what about the drivers? Woohoo! All you need to get a licence here is know how to blow the horn. You know me, I love anything royal. Maven: In order for me to become the new Intercontinental Champion I need to concentrate and I can’t concentrate while each and every one of you are talking all this jibberish. This will not be a pretty match. Not too often you hear the referee get a chant. JR, have you got a pen? Write Benoit’s name down and then draw a line through it.
Chris Jericho: You can do things that no one else can do? Really? Well, can you take that title and shove it up your ass? Can you do that?
Shelton Benjamin: Uh no, but I can take this fist and create more hits than the last Fozzy album.
Chris Jericho: Really? Well Shelton, have you heard Fozzy's new single, hmm? It's called 'Shelton Benjamin is a little bitch'.
- King about Christy -
- King about Trish's entrance music -
- King about Chris Benoit -
- About the L.A. crowd -
- Maven -
- To Simon Dean -
- To Jericho, Benoit and Benjamin who were arguing over who is more hungry to get a shot at the Heavyweight title -
- Christian -
Batista: But you're going to anyway.
Batista: Well then, Triple H better make sure he doesn't get injured then.
King: I know it. Christy won't go anywhere without Lita, of course we both know Lita will go anywhere. Whoa, I love it!
JR: I beg your pardon, you don't know that.
- King about Christy -
- King about the Pick Your Poison match between Kane and Batista -
King: Well I'm gonna be listening but you think Batista is gonna be listening? He's here tonight you know.
JR: Hell no, I fell off one one time in home depot.
King: A step stool is not considered a ladder JR. These are 16 foot ladders.
JR: Most of the time.
- After JR stated that Batista helped HHH retain his title many times -
- King after Orton RKO'd Stacy -
- To Jake The Snake -
- King -
- King -
- To Christy Hemme -
- Ric Flair to Triple H -
- King -
King: Why?
JR: She's jealous. She's jealous of Christy.
King: No, she just wants to get a closer look at that (Playboy) cover, who wouldn't?
King: Pretty good penmanship though.
- About Trish spraypainting the word 'slut' on the back of Christy -
- King -
JR: Do I look like I've tried it? If it's not barbequed or chicken fried, I'm not going for it.
- King about Simon Dean -
- King about Simon Dean during his match with Jericho -
- King about Muhammad Hussan -
The art department's been working overtime.
- King -
in your voice when you say Captain Charisma?
- King to JR -
I think you two are the poster boys for jackasses.
- Chris Jericho about Hussan & Daivari -
Daivari: *speaks in Arabic*
Chris Jericho: Whoa whoa whoa whoa. That's disgusting, you wanna do what with me? Y2J doesn't play on that side of the fence junior.
King: Please leave it.
- To Trish Stratus -
King: Well, he's here, you see it. What do you mean Spaldings? Is JBL a basketball player?
*Lao is staring at Stacy Keibler*
Christian: Okay, alright, listen, you want to talk to Stacy Keibler and get a quote about me. Stacy, this is Lao, he's Japanese...
Stacy Keibler: Nice to meet you.
Christian: And he's with the media and he wants to ask you a couple of Christian questions, so go ahead.
Lao: Do you know where I can interview Randy Orton?
Stacy Keibler: Actually...
Christian: Hold on one second. That wasn't a CQ. That wasn't a Christian question. Why the hell would you want to know about Randy Orton?
Lao: Because you are very annoying.
Christian: That's funny huh? I'll tell you all you need to know about Randy Orton. A) He's not a Legend Killer because he's never beaten me. B) He does this alot. *Christian poses his arms like Randy Orton does* And C) Judging from the last couple of weeks, he's one headshot away from the end of his career. Write that down.
Stacy Keibler: And don't forget to write down D) He could totally kick Christian's butt.
it doesn't mean you have to look like one.
- Simon to the Tokyo crowd -
- About Hussan and Daivari -
- About Batista -
- King -
I’m taking you to school Cena and you’re gonna flunk
I’m Captain Charisma, read ‘em and weeps
I’m gonna throw you out for all my peeps
And just like Dracula comes from Transylvania
I’m winning the Rumble and going on to Wrestlemania.
- Christian to John Cena -
You think you can rap just because you watched 8 Mile
Word on the street is your peeps are weak
And you and black beard share a bed when you sleep
Yo, this is chain gang, we run the show down
Tonight’s like your sex life, your ass is gonna go down
I’ll go to the ring when my name is called
You can pick my number, you like playing with balls.
- John Cena’s rebuttal -
- King about Randy Orton -
- King explains how Triple H beat Randy Orton –
- JR as the Rumble contestants gang up on Puder -
- Triple H about Oklahoma celebrating Jim Ross Day -
- Only Triple H could describe it so well -
Batista: It's okay, I'll beat 'em both.
Rob Conway: You're a typical arrogant American.
Batista: That's right.
Rob Conway: I'll tell you what, after we beat you tonight, I'm gonna personally take my Quebec flag and shove it down your throat.
Batista: Really? Well, I'll tell you what, after I beat the both of you, I'm gonna take your little flag and stick it somewhere else.
- JR -
King: And you know about low blows from Flair.
Muhammad Hussan: Yeah maybe but I think it should be customary for the hose to get to the point instead of just rambling on about himself.
Chris Jericho: Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a second cowboy. I wasn’t gonna forget about you. I was gonna give you your proper due. Please, I don’t wanna be rude, ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you my guests tonight on the Highlight Reel, Mr Muhammad Hussan and his wacky, goofy, creepy little sidekick, Daivari. But I have a simple question to ask you guys and that’s why the sour pusses guys? Why are you always so angry all the time hmm? You’re always walking around all angry. “It’s customary for the host to get to the point and not talk about himself.” Come on, I thought you’d be happy that you’re not in the United States. I mean, you’re standing right here warmly ensconced by the loving embrace of thousands of Jerichoholics while nestled snugly in the hearty bosoms of Toronto, Canada.
- JR -
- King about Maven -
- King -
King: We’re not just a long way from Texas, we’re a long way from anywhere in the world when you’re up here in bizarro land.
- King -
- Triple H about Randy Orton -
- Shawn Michaels to Edge -
JR: Eugene always emulates some of his favourite superstars that he’s seen on television over the years.
King: I haven’t seen him wearing a crown.
- King about Eugene -
- About Puerto Rico -
- King after advertising the Royal Rumble -
King: Jibberish?....Spanish.
Could be bowling shoe ugly, this slobberknocker.
- JR about Kane vs Snitsky match -
- JR about the crowd chanting ‘HBK’ -
- King thinks Benoit will be eliminated next from the chamber -