~ November ~
Raw 22 November
Chris Jericho: Welcome to Raw is Jericho. And this is not a mirage. This is real, this is here, this is now. This is the 2nd coming of Y2J. You remembered! I want you to take out your cell phones, text your friends, take a picture, shoot a video, send an email, call them all and tell them that the Sexy Beast is back, baby! And I promise to ignite you, to excite you, to delight you and I invite you to strap on your seatbelt, ease the seat back, click it into gear and go into overdrive cause from this point forward its 100% entertainment, 100% electricity, 100% Jericho. Raw 7 November
Hey, Hornswaggle's a DX fan. That's not gonna sit well with Dad. You can never have enough nerds, freaks and weirdo's, you know what I'm saying? Is everybody gonna want to join DX tonight? Shawn Michaels: I feel like I'm getting a little old for this. I don't know who writes this garbage but this is the worst debacle since that whole Katie Vick thing years ago. Santino: Unfortunately, I have some bad news. Stone Cold Steve Austin is not going to be here tonight. Just like I said last week, if he was gonna come, he would have showed up already. But just for the slight chance that Stone Cold does show up, I brought this..a paper bag. So he can, try to act his way out of it.
You told me earlier you didn't think Santino could get a date on a tombstone and here he is dating Maria. ~ October ~
Raw 17 October
I had to turn in a rental car JR, the steering wheel was on the wrong side. Either Maria's skirt is too short or she's in it too far. But I like it. This could be bad...or good. When Maria leaves there's always two things I miss about her. I'm no dummy but after watching those Divas do CPR I wish I were. Small apple? It's a teeny tiny apple. I guess everything here is small. Kinda like Hornswaggle. Since he became the WWE champion, his ego's got its own zip code. Jillian: So tonight I want to sing acapella for all of you... I think Coach ought to give up, he's got a better chance of blowing out a light bulb than he does catching Hornswaggle.
Randy Orton: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who the hell do you think you are? The last time I saw you Jericho, you were getting fired on Raw. So tell us, tell us oh saviour, what's so important that you had to come back? What exactly are you saving us from?Chris Jericho: Well, your boring personality for one. You want me to continue? How about saving us from that face of yours that looks like you got flattened by a frying pan, or your monotonous robotic Randy Orton voice, or how about I save us from your child bearing hips, your Super Cuts hairstyle, your subscription to Blue Ball magazine. Most importantly Randy Orton, I'm here to save us from you...because the first chance I get I'm gonna take that WWE Championship from you and I'm going to put it around this gorgeous waist and when I do, Monday night Raw,......
- King -
- HHH on the Boogie Man & Hornswaggle wanting to join DX -
- King -
HHH: You got a good point. But the thing is, I don't think anybody writes this crap, they're on strike...but we're not.
- King to JR -
- King about being in the UK -
- King -
- JR about Santino Marella having a microphone -
- King -
- King -
- Carlito compares his apple to the UK -
- King about Randy Orton -
King: I hate that song 'acapella'.
JR: Good night everybody.
Jillian: in a language that everyone can understand - British!
- King -