Miscellaneous
Thanks to Jasmine for the following quote from Late Night With Conan O'Brien
The Rock: Ah, thanks a lot, Conie.
Conan: Did you just call me Conie?
Thanks to rodeocowboy2321 for the following quote
Scott Steiner: We all may not live in a perfect world, but you're lookin' at the
perfect body.
I’m gonna knock the yellow off your teeth
and slap the teeth out of your mouth.
- The Rock to Mankind -
My image is tarnished just stepping into the ring with a piece of crap like you.
- Chris Jericho to Godfather -
If you put a nickel on his head, he’d look like a nail.
- King about Edge -
Americans know they can trust an entertainer as a politician more than a politician as an entertainer.
- Vince McMahon -
I want to thank you for saving me a trip
to the museum to see what my ancestors looked like.
- Ivory to Moolah -
This kid is so dumb, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test.
- Jim Cornette about Scott Putski -
I would rather hurt a man than love a woman.
- Cactus Jack -
An inspiration to millions of women, children and idiots across the nation.
- Chris Jericho about Chyna -
He’s named after his IQ or the number of brain cells he has left.
- Jim Cornette about Syxx -
If you think you have a personality, maybe someday you’ll eventually get one.
- Al Snow to Steve Blackman -
Virginia is for lovers, provided those lovers are not from the same family.
- Kurt Angle -
When you’re all done yappin’, it’s time for some open hand slappin’.
- Road Warrior Hawk -
What you deserve to be doing is carrying my bags into the arena.
- Chris Jericho to Big Show -
A bunch of overweight, disgusting, dysfunctional families sitting on their bums watching cartoon balloons.
- William Regal describing Thanksgiving in the USA -
When you play with pigs, you’re going to get dirty.
- Bret Hart to Randy Savage -
If his butt starts beeping that means he’s backing up.
- King about Rikishi -
I hate everyone but your name is on the top of the list.
- Undertaker to Stone Cold -
He would keep going to the pit stop to ask for directions.
- King about what would happen if Hardcore Holly became a race car driver -
I don't care about all the women, I only care about the men.
- Sable -
If anyone's going to smell what The Rock is cooking,
it's gonna be me...look how big my damn nose is.
- Jason Sensation -
What? Do we have a loser convention in town?
- Shane O'Mac refers to D-Generation X -
It'll be the perfect ass versus the people's ass.
- Billy Gunn about a match against The Rock -
It looks like a big monkey came out
here and took a crap and out came Mankind.
- The Rock -
Calling Cactus Jack stupid is an insult to stupid people.
- King -
You can’t see me.
- John Cena to his opponents -
Thanks to Suzie Q for the following quote
Maybe you should kiss my ass.
- Tazz to Josh Mathews on Sunday Night Heat -
Genetic jackhammer.
- Vince McMahon refers to himself as this -
Bubba Ray’s a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.
- Kevin Kelly -
Maybe you need to switch to decaf or something.
- Triple H to The Rock -
Its time you get your pencil-neck-geeked ass out here to face the reaper.
- Undertaker to Vince McMahon -
Thou shalt not drink our beer.
- Bradshaw stating one of the Acolytes commandments -
Maybe if you’re out of toilet paper, you could use a couple of the pages.
- King about Mankind’s book -
Set up two Holly pins, roll down this ramp and score a 7-10 idiot split.
- Chris Jericho about Hardcore and Crash Holly -
I made your son Shane cry like a two year old with a poop in his pants.
- Mankind to Vince McMahon -
There ain’t much difference in Canadian white trash and American white trash.
- Scott Steiner about Bret Hart -
The only reason anybody bought your book in the first place
is they were hoping you would die at the end of it.
- Chris Jericho to Mick Foley -
If you put Kane’s brain in a bird, it would fly backward.
- The Rock -
I’d be jealous too, if my cousin was
Saturday morning cartoon superstar Elroy Jetson.
- Chris Jericho to Hardcore Holly about Crash -
You couldn’t beat my ass if the other half was helping you.
- Test to Shane O’Mac -
You haven’t paid your dues, Mankind, Mick Foley, Cactus Jack, Dude Love,
whatever the hell your name is – if you even know.
- Vince McMahon -
It’s the best way to bring ‘em down.
- Chyna on going downstairs on the guys -
D-Generation X are a bunch of damn pigs.
- Michael Cole -
The original Scrooge.
- JR about Vince McMahon -
Hit the bricks, junior.
- An original Chris Jericho saying -
If Mick ever had a thought, it’d die of loneliness.
- King about Mick Foley -
I’m gonna kick you where the good Lord split ya.
- Booker T says what he wants to do to Scott Hall -
His belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
- King about Rikishi -
Go back to Supercuts and get your five dollars back.
- The Rock tells Big Show what he thinks about his new haircut -
You’ve got enough ass right there to make a total eclipse of the sun.
- Hardcore Holly to Rikishi -
You better get your attitude out of my face, before I slap the wrinkles out of yours.
- Shane McMahon to Vince -
They told me to watch my mouth on Sunday Night Heat,
but my damn nose is in the way.
- Road Dogg -
I detest people who need help.
- Vince McMahon -
Mick Foley has three personalities, you’ve got no personality.
- Al Snow to Steve Blackman -
Sleazy-E, that little squirm of a worm.
- DDP rapping about Eric Bischoff -
Everyone knows that Mick Foley takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
- Mick Foley -
Let The Rock serve you up a nice big fat Rockburger with some extra cheese.
- The Rock -
He hits you so hard, you wake up and your clothes are outta style.
- Shawn Michaels about Vader -
Bring your fat, cellulite infested, stinkin carcass down to this ring.
- Val Venis to Rikishi -
I will turn you into the world’s largest pin cushion.
- Cactus Jack to Triple H -
Jericho was in another time zone.
- JR after Big Show threw Jericho -
Blondes have no fun…they’re just stupid.
- Eddie Guerrero to Billy Gunn -
Just because you lost the title, you can't get a girlfriend and
you still collect Beanie Babies, doesn't make you any less of a man.
- Hardcore Holly to Crash -
I've kicked your ass so many times, I'm starting to get bored with it.
- Triple H to The Rock -
You have a spiffy little bike and some real scary tattoos
but I don't think you have any gold medals.
- Kurt Angle to Undertaker -
A snivelling, little silver-spoon-sucking sissy.
- Mankind about Shane McMahon -
That’s ten pounds of monkey crap in a five-pound bag.
- The Rock about Big Show -
I will stuff this rancid sock that looks a lot like
me down the gullet of the Bossman, because I can.
- Mankind -
I no longer need my power tie because I always have my power finger.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin -
You’ve got to believe that his family tree certainly needs trimming.
- JR about Goldust -
It doesn’t even qualify as the Three Stooges.
It’s so pathetic, it’s the Three Jackasses.
- Stone Cold about Vince McMahon, Jerry Brisco & Pat Patterson -
A blemish in The Rock’s buttocks.
- The Rock about Road Dogg -
Most of the people I went to college with don’t have their own action figures.
- Mick Foley -
He's had more concussions than Elizabeth Taylor has had husbands.
- King about Mankind -
I would bash his pea brain with a sledgehammer already.
- Triple H about what he would do to Big Show -
They ought to call you 'Dumb Ass Billy Gunn'.
- Stone Cold about Bad Ass Billy Gunn -
The only move you’ll be doing is walking away from my husband.
- Stephanie to Trish who was flirting with Triple H -
I don’t do what Rock does and I couldn’t do what Rock does,
but then he couldn’t pose nude for Playboy, could he?
- Chyna -
You can call yourself Mr Ass
I call you Mr Ass Kisser.
-Mankind to Billy ‘Mr Ass’ Gunn -
McMahon thinks Snoop Doggy Dog belongs to Charlie Brown.
- King -
A total toolshed.
- Edge about Mick Foley -
If he was president, the country’s bird would be the middle finger.
- King about Stone Cold -
I have been so, so bad.
In fact, I think I've been so bad that I deserve a spanking.
- Trish to Vince McMahon -
Did you ever know that you're a jackass?
- Jericho sings to Stone Cold -
Xpand your Imagi-Nation.
- Jeff Hardy -
Beware of falling objects.
- Back of Jeff Hardy's shirt, March 2003 -
Don’t be an Assclown.
- Chris Jericho’s new t-shirt -
Blood is thicker than wood.
- On the back of the Dudleyz new t-shirt -
What I wanna do when I wanna do it.
- The back of Triple H's new shirt -
You think you know me.
- Edge’s entrance music -
Here comes the pain.
- Brock Lesnar -
You can't even fit it around your chubby gut.
- Jericho to Big Show who was having trouble putting the title belt around his waist -
It's not your belt I want,
it's your ass that holds it up that I want.
- Road Dogg to Val Venis -
Nickel and dime chump change jabroni.
- Shawn Michaels about The Rock -
Benoit in French means gaptoothed jackass.
- Chris Jericho -
Steve Austin is the kind of guy who would shoot at the welcome wagon.
- King -
Standing in the ring together, they look like R2-D2 and C-3P0.
- Chris Jericho on Kane and Chris Benoit -
I can take your rotting soul anytime I wish.
- Undertaker about Stone Cold -
Rock and Sock, you're dumber than a bag of rocks.
- Road Dogg -
He couldn't organize a one car parade.
- Bradshaw on Big Show -
Edge: Y2J, how did it feel to have your face have the crap totally slapped out of it by Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley?
Christian: Yeah Chris, you really have to admit that was totally slaptastic.
I don’t give a brahma bull’s ass what The Rock has to say. You and your unibrow and your ‘Just Bring It’.
Bring what? A vomit bag? A fig newton? Or how about a Y2J telling you to shut the hell up.
- Chris Jericho to The Rock -
Obviously, the one vitamin he forgot to take was Rogaine.
- Scott Steiner about Hulk Hogan -
Not only am I marrying the greatest girl in the world, I’m marrying the greatest family in the world too.
- Test on what he thought was his marriage to Stephanie -
Who are they going to wrestle?
Mae Young and the Fabulous Moolah? They're all the same age.
- Scott Steiner about the tag team of Ric Flair & Hulk -
The Acolyte's forte is a no-holds barred.
You know why? They don't know any holds.
- Kevin Kelly -
I’ve seen more cotton in the top of an aspirin bottle.
- King on seeing Sable’s revealing swimsuit, Raw 8 December 1997 -
Thanks to Breezey for the following seven quotes
Michael Cole: Who would win in a match between you and…
Christian: Me.
Michael Cole: You didn’t even let me finish the question.
Christian: Ok sorry.
Michael Cole: Who would win in a match between you and…
Christian: Me.
I just started writing, I think about everything: life, death, space, the ocean.
- Jeff Hardy on his Poetry in Raw Magazine -
Matt: Hey man.
Jeff: Hey man.
Matt: What uhh are ya doin?
Jeff: I'm just playing guitar.
Matt: Where ya been all day?
Jeff: Here man, just hanging out. Let me ask you something man. Did you ever think there would be more than this?
Matt: What do you mean?
Jeff: Just us here man, live for the moment, remember that?
Matt: Yeah.
Jeff: Team Extreme?
Matt: Yeah.
Jeff: You remember that? I mean man, we go somewhere, we wrestle; go somewhere else, we wrestle. I mean God we don't live for the moment; we’re not extreme. We're...hypocrites.
Matt: I'm not really following you. I mean, I don't...where are you going with this?
Jeff: Man....*hands Matt the guitar* you'll see where I’m going with it.*Jeff walks away*
Taker: Hey man. Where’s that punk ass little brother of yours?
Matt: He's gone man; he’s outta here.
Taker: You give him a message for me.
Matt: Sure I'll give him whatever.
*Taker beats up Matt. He throws him into the walls and punches him. Taker leaves the locker room while Matt is left there lying on the floor*
Vince: Oh look at this? Whoa Whoa Whoa look at this. Why it’s Mr. Extreme! Why it’s Jeff Hardy! You have been buzzing about the Undertaker for the last several weeks. You're not gonna buzz any longer, it won't be for the title, pal, but tonight you and the Undertaker, one on one in this ring. And just for the record, *pointing to Matt* you're barred from ringside!
Matt: Hey man! Looks like your stuck tonight, you got to go out alone.
Jeff: You know Matt, its cool. I got myself into this, I'm gonna get myself out. I'll be cool on my own.
Matt: You're right man, we'll both be cool on our own. Besides there aren't even any WWE tag team titles to win in the RAW division.
Jeff: Exactly man! We gotta go our own way man, we gotta become stars ourselves, by ourselves. We can do it.
Matt: And we can! And tonight is going to be your night.
Jeff: Right! I'm gonna be a star or I'm gonna die trying.
- Jeff and Matt Hardy on Jeff's Match vs the Undertaker -
Hey! Hey Taker! Taker! You've beat my ass time and time again.
You just beat my ass right now. But...we're not done. We're not done at all!
I want a match...I want a match next week for the WWE Undisputed Championship.
But not just a regular match, Taker! Hey! Not a regular match!
My way to beat you, MY match to beat YOU! ......A ladder match!
- Jeff Hardy challenging the Undertaker on RAW -
Thanks to Jami for the next fourteen quotes
What do you get for someone who has had everyone?
- Chris Jericho about Stephanie -
Edge, get off that table. You look like a tablecloth.
- King -
What about you? What about Raisin?
I mean, you might as well ask “What about the plight of the African Anteater?”
or “What about the price of bacon in Saskatoon?”
- Chris Jericho to Raven -
Trish, it’s a fact that you are a bitch. Well tonight, I’m going to make you my bitch.
- Stephanie -
2000: A vintage year for sodas! Here, here Kurt.
That speech you made totally rocked of hardy that rocks the body.
- Christian -
Jericho, on TV: I know why you like to screw with me.
Jami, to the TV: Because you’re screwable.
Boyz with a 'z'?
Is that supposed to scare us or something?
- Edge about the Hardy Boyz -
Shane your role know it, HHH your mouth shut it,
Vince your lama's amos lick it, Stephanie your dirty panties wear 'em!
- The Rock -
Mae Young is so old that when David killed Goliath,
she was the one that called the cops!
- King -
Big Mac, I mean, you're the head of one of the biggest empires in the world.
You've created this entire phenomenon known as sports entertainment.
You, sir, are a multi-billionaire...
but you did it all to make up for the fact that you have a very...
small...penis! It's okay... it's not your fault... it's okay.
- Chris Jericho
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is nothing more than a filthy,
dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding trashbag ho...
and a rancid, reeking, foul-smelling, stinking piece of roadkill.
- Chris Jericho -
Shane, turns on Vince. Shane, turns on Linda.
Stephanie turns on Vince. Stephanie slaps Linda.
Stephanie's dog takes a crap on Shane's living room carpet
and here's a new twist: Shane can't get an erection for eight months.
- The Rock -
Does he know I’m an artist?
I ought to ask him if he’ll let me do a little body painting on him before the match.
- King about Jeff Hardy -
Hey, I drank milk that was a day past the expiration date. Now that is extreme!
- Kurt Angle -
The next three quotes are from The Rock's appearance on Jay Leno, March 2000
The Rock: Well...the blimp, Jay it says ‘Jay, know your role’ and that’s what The Rock says.
The Rock says “Your role – know it, your mouth – shut it.
Jay Leno: So, you’re taunting me? Is that it?
The Rock: Well, that’s what The Rock does best.
He was thinking of putting a second blimp up there that says
‘Jay, have a nice tall glass of shut up juice’.
- The Rock had a Wrestlemania 2000 blimp go over NBC that read underneath 'The Rocks says know your role, Jay' -
The Rock: I do the right eyebrow.
Jay Leno: Have you worked with a trainer? Are you working on the other eyebrow?
The Rock: I’ve been trying the left, but you know The Rock’s just not bi-eyebrow, Jay.
Well since Rock’s baby left him
Well he found a new place to dwell
Its down the end of Jabroni Drive
At Smackdown Hotel.
- The Rock singing ‘Smackdown Hotel' -
The next three quotes are from the September 2002 edition of Raw Magazine
The good part of our job is that you can live pretty much wherever you want.
Why not live some place warm?
I’d rather go home and sit by the pool
than go home and shovel snow off the driveway.
- Christian on the advantages of living in Tampa, Florida (pg 28) -
People who are involved in this business are involved in it because they love it.
- The Big Valbowski (pg 29) -
I remember feeling a really big buzz – that crowd knew something big was going to happen.
The Rock did his interview and the ‘Y2J countdown’ ended and the audience just started going crazy.
When I got to the stage, it was a really crazy reaction.
To this day, its one of the most memorable moments of my career.
- Chris Jericho on his WWF debut at Allstate Arena, Chicago on 9 August 1999 (pg 42) -